The job of looking for work that is. I'm due in next Friday (6th of January) and the holidays ended on Tuesday with the Bank Holiday (New Years is over the weekend so that doesn't count). I'm not entirely sure how much they can reasonably expect me to accomplish in my efforts to find work between Wednesday and next Friday, but I'm sure it won't be any less than is normal. I've already looked on the JC website - useless as ever - and there isn't much at all, unsurprisingly.
This festive season has been, without doubt, the most stressful of all I can remember. I'm still feeling the effects. I went into town yesterday and it's just so busy. I don't know how people can work in that kind of environment, but the Christmas temps/kids seem to be full of beans. That's the way the world expects you to be, all the time (well at least during the working day). Unfortunately, that's just not me. I can't be the person.
Unfortunately dealing with doctors is no help at all. They just don't take me seriously. But I feel so out of it at times at the moment. How on earth I'd be expected to function in a full time working environment I do not know, even one that isn't busy like the holiday sales on the high street. Having to deal with someone else's time schedule would be extremely difficult, especially with my screwed up metabolism (diagnosed though not specifically hypoglycaemia).
Doctors seem not to take you seriously unless you are dying on your feet. We are back to the grey area again: the system thinks either you are 100% fit or you must prove you are 100% not. Anything inbetween defaults to the former without exception. Whenever I've spoken to the GP they take a similar view; they will tell me that because I can act reasonably normally that they don't want to 'medicalise' my issues. They see that as somehow 'giving in' to the problem and thus making it worse. Unfortunately they don't understand that's how the welfare state works and the only alternative is having zero income. The great fallacy they and most people fall into believing is that if you 'sign off' you will immediately get work (or conversely if you sign on you instantly become unemployable, which is what my GP thinks). So regardless of the consequence of a lack of support, that is the preferable choice. So we are left to cope and manage as best we can, stumbling along the way.
I know my GP has told me he feels signing me off would only hinder my chances of returning to or finding work. That's all well and good, and no doubt being unwell will be viewed negatively by future potential employers - which is a sad indictment of the labour market - but what's the alternative? Penalise the sick? It's the system that's at fault. He, like many I suspect, expects the Jobcentre to do the job he thinks you want him to do: to help you and supprot you. But they are not doctors or therapists and, while you claim JSA (in lieu of an alternative), you sill have to abide by its conditionality.
It's also not helped when the GP regards your issues (as one did in respect of the above hypglycaemia condition) that because it hasn't killed me, it isn't a big deal (and she wondered why i had a 'face like thunder'). They think they are being helpful, setting you straight or even putting your mind at rest, but their ignorance of the system makes things worse. It's like the bus driver saying 'this is where i stop' when you wanted to go to the other end of town and then telling you 'it's ok, i'm sure another bus will be along in a minute'.
Doctors just don't get how the welfare system works and unfortunately don't want to. That's their prerogative and I can understand that - to a point. But it doesn't really help people that aren't getting any help and are struggling to cope with an inflexible monolithic welfare monster.
Thursday, 29 December 2011
Monday, 26 December 2011
A Year of Sport
It's boxing day, the weather is uncharacteristically mild (remember last year?), and I've just been for a run. I say run, more a wheezing ball of wobbling inertia (probably the result of an overly large bowl of cereal). I don't run out of enjoyment, though I am not adverse to physical activity; I do it to keep fit. Whether or not that's working is up for debate. To keep me sane as I run I usually listen to the radio, or, if local radio isn't too obnoxious, some music. This morning, local radio's finest were replaying some sport interviews. I hate sport, and next year will be the year of sport as London (ie not the rest of us) is host to a fortnight of amateur dramatics calling itself the Olympics before selling off (at least that's the plan) all the assets we (i mean you) have paid for over the last 6 years.
To be specific, it's more that I hate competitiveness. I can't stand it. Every week I have to listen to it because I live next to a little league (ie they all smoke on their way to the pub after playing) football ptich. The noise, the language - even the bigotry (they've been warned about racist abuse ffs) - is awful. It's like listening to a pub at chucking out time on a Saturday night: screaming blokes, roaring and shouting. You can hear them half a mile away - and these aren't even the players!
I abhor all of this. Even if they were well behaved and sportsmanlike in their conduct (as if) I'd still hate it. The whole idea is divisive: for someone to win, another has to lose, yet that vital part of the equation is the recipient of society's scorn. We all have to be winners, losing is for...well losers. Yet how can it be possible for everyone to be a winner! If that were the case there'd be winners because there'd be no measure to define your worth against.
I have no problem with the idea of play, but even as a kid, kicking a ball around with mates was never fun (i've never gotten into football at all, can't stand it or any professional sport) because people took it too seriously. I'm not a skilled athlete nor do I have any desire to be so I get marginalised. This has increased over the years and I am firmly and squarely a nerd. That doesn't mean I don't enjoy being outside and getting physical: walking and cycling in the fresh countryside air is pleasant and enjoyable. But ask me to compete, hell no.
So next year will be the year of sport. All we will hear is how great sport is. How it affords kids opportunities. How it transforms society etc. I'm sick of it already. Why are we wasting money hosting a sporting event we aren't going to win? Professional sports teams constantly overestimate their worth: people are as good as they are. If there's someone better, then that's just life. Why put yourself through all the heartache of trying to make yourself something you are not. Great Britain isn't the world's best country ever and we aren't going to win every medal ever, either. We'll get a few ('we' - that's something else I abhor, this sense of inclusion and entitlement amongst the armchair pundits) and that's it. Then everyone will wail and gnash their teeth and it will all be over leaving the east end of London with a huge white elephant that we will have to slowly sell off. Seems like a waste of time money and effort, and for what? How many kids get to go to a velodrome? How many get to become professional footballers? How many get to train to be world champion divers? Certainly not the experience of sport when I was at school. IN fact I skived off the entire last season of sports when I was at school. I got more exercise cycling home and tried, unsuccessfully, to argue that I could spend my time more productively pursuing English/writing for instance. To no avail. But there won't be an Olympics for the intellect. It's just a massive gravy train benefiting the likes of 'Lord' (explain how one becomes a peer of the realm simply for running fast) Seb Coe.
I'm not looking forward to this at all.
To be specific, it's more that I hate competitiveness. I can't stand it. Every week I have to listen to it because I live next to a little league (ie they all smoke on their way to the pub after playing) football ptich. The noise, the language - even the bigotry (they've been warned about racist abuse ffs) - is awful. It's like listening to a pub at chucking out time on a Saturday night: screaming blokes, roaring and shouting. You can hear them half a mile away - and these aren't even the players!
I abhor all of this. Even if they were well behaved and sportsmanlike in their conduct (as if) I'd still hate it. The whole idea is divisive: for someone to win, another has to lose, yet that vital part of the equation is the recipient of society's scorn. We all have to be winners, losing is for...well losers. Yet how can it be possible for everyone to be a winner! If that were the case there'd be winners because there'd be no measure to define your worth against.
I have no problem with the idea of play, but even as a kid, kicking a ball around with mates was never fun (i've never gotten into football at all, can't stand it or any professional sport) because people took it too seriously. I'm not a skilled athlete nor do I have any desire to be so I get marginalised. This has increased over the years and I am firmly and squarely a nerd. That doesn't mean I don't enjoy being outside and getting physical: walking and cycling in the fresh countryside air is pleasant and enjoyable. But ask me to compete, hell no.
So next year will be the year of sport. All we will hear is how great sport is. How it affords kids opportunities. How it transforms society etc. I'm sick of it already. Why are we wasting money hosting a sporting event we aren't going to win? Professional sports teams constantly overestimate their worth: people are as good as they are. If there's someone better, then that's just life. Why put yourself through all the heartache of trying to make yourself something you are not. Great Britain isn't the world's best country ever and we aren't going to win every medal ever, either. We'll get a few ('we' - that's something else I abhor, this sense of inclusion and entitlement amongst the armchair pundits) and that's it. Then everyone will wail and gnash their teeth and it will all be over leaving the east end of London with a huge white elephant that we will have to slowly sell off. Seems like a waste of time money and effort, and for what? How many kids get to go to a velodrome? How many get to become professional footballers? How many get to train to be world champion divers? Certainly not the experience of sport when I was at school. IN fact I skived off the entire last season of sports when I was at school. I got more exercise cycling home and tried, unsuccessfully, to argue that I could spend my time more productively pursuing English/writing for instance. To no avail. But there won't be an Olympics for the intellect. It's just a massive gravy train benefiting the likes of 'Lord' (explain how one becomes a peer of the realm simply for running fast) Seb Coe.
I'm not looking forward to this at all.
Friday, 23 December 2011
Epilogue
Well, gentle reader, I didn't ring in sick (save that pleasure for another time!), I chose to attend. Really the best thing, to be honest. I'd have only regretted it otherwise. Fortunately they were in a more helpful mood today. It's all a bit random really; sometimes they are helpful sometimes not. Is that itself a good thing? I'm inclined to say no, but there's no point being churlish or ungrateful. I got signed on quickly, got my bus fare sorted out from Monday (finally) and got the heck out of dodge. The last signing time of 2011. I'm sure I'll post over the holiday season (means nothing to me; I don't have kids nor a family to really speak of), but until then happy secularised consumerist state holiday!
Thursday, 22 December 2011
Campaigns
Today's Guardian, as we enter the Xmas orbit, is a call to arms. I'm not going to spend this post repeating what it says other than to post links to the campaigns in question.
Here is an article on the 38Degrees blogs about welfare reform, a cause they seem reluctant to support. We need to change that. I've sent them an email, in response to their thanking me for participating in their campaigns this year, asking this. This is an excellent letter from a blog i've not come across before, to the head of 38 Degrees.
Here is the link to an epetition calling for a pause, at least, to the welfare reform bill. We have until January to change their opinions.
Here is a link to an epetition calling for it to be made an offence to maliciously report someone for benefit fraud. I think this has to be looked at: someone that reports on their neighbour out of what is essentially spite must be held accountable.
Scope are campaigning to preserve legal aid for disability claimants. This has ramifications for all claimants and so must be opposed.
While many of these are issues surrounding disability benefits/welfare specifically, make no mistake it won't end there.
Here is an article on the 38Degrees blogs about welfare reform, a cause they seem reluctant to support. We need to change that. I've sent them an email, in response to their thanking me for participating in their campaigns this year, asking this. This is an excellent letter from a blog i've not come across before, to the head of 38 Degrees.
Here is the link to an epetition calling for a pause, at least, to the welfare reform bill. We have until January to change their opinions.
Here is a link to an epetition calling for it to be made an offence to maliciously report someone for benefit fraud. I think this has to be looked at: someone that reports on their neighbour out of what is essentially spite must be held accountable.
Scope are campaigning to preserve legal aid for disability claimants. This has ramifications for all claimants and so must be opposed.
While many of these are issues surrounding disability benefits/welfare specifically, make no mistake it won't end there.
Tuesday, 20 December 2011
Thoughts on Yesterday
I spent the rest of yesterday reeling. I couldn't really focus on anything else and went to bed pretty tired. It's like the colours changed; the rest of the day just seems different because of some fundamental change in the settings of reality. That's how my mind processed it, if that makes any sense.
I woke up this morning with issues still unresolved. I'm not sure what to do come Friday. In fact I'm not even sure the buses are going to be up to the job (and I don't want to spend Christmas in the jobcentre!) as the main road is closed for that day. I was and still am thinking of phoning in sick, but I bet saying this here and now makes that look even less credible. I told the psychologist this yesterday, she gave no response. However it's not entirely fake: I really really can't deal with that place at the moment. Perhaps being sick of the jobcentre is reason enough!
Thing is, in any normal workplace people would down tools if they had to deal with the system that the jobcentre foists on people just for being out of work. I could claim this as holiday time as apparently one is allowed two weeks, per year, on holiday. But that requires you fill in a form that demands, again apparently, a contact number. If I give my home number it's not going to look like much of a holiday and they'll think I could just as well attend (though I don't see what's so wrong with taking a holiday at home).
The system is just so monolithic, inflexible and bureaucratic that it just cannot help people - and that's assuming that's it's purpose. Certainly under the Tories it isn't. I have a telephone appointment with my GP this afternoon, hopefully he can help arrange for the psychologist to see me at the surgery and conduct her cognitive tests, as was agreed yesterday. Whether he will be sympathetic or whether he, like the populist view, regard me as a self pitying scrounger is 50/50. I iknow he won't be open to writing a 'fit' note, at least that's the safe assumption.
Even if he did, I'd then have the rigmarole of signing off and haviong to subsist on a fortnight's worth of JSA while the claim is being processed, and, by the time it's resolved, the claim will likely have ended. There's no way he'll write a note for a long period of time, longer than say a month. That's fair enough I suppose.
It just highlights the rigidity of the system: how it simply cannot address real people's issues. There's no legitimate way for someone to contact the JC and negotiate a simple break, even on health grounds, without some effort. Even if I do ring up Friday morning and say I'm unwell, it will be more form filling. My money is meant to go through tomorrow to clear next Wednesday (the normal date) and is there any guarantee they won't think, after I ring up, 'right, screw that' and cancel or recall the payment. I wouldn't put anything past these people.
What I'm saying is that the system is just so far from being fit for its purpose that some of us are just left with ridiculous choices to make. After all how many employers are going to be hiring at this time of the year (I'm sure there are some - just to appease the right wingers out there!)? But the lack of support - the TOTAL lack thereof - is staggering. I still don't even know why I was sent to see the psychologist yesterday. I suspect that what the adviser was thinking she would achieve is actually very different to what the psychologist herself agrees is her function or purpose. While I'm happy for any diagnosis she might be able to offer or even any proper help she can offer, I'm willing to bet, pounds to pence, that she can't really do anything. In which case, what's the point? There is just no help, whatsoever. Why else do I blog, dear reader?
I woke up this morning with issues still unresolved. I'm not sure what to do come Friday. In fact I'm not even sure the buses are going to be up to the job (and I don't want to spend Christmas in the jobcentre!) as the main road is closed for that day. I was and still am thinking of phoning in sick, but I bet saying this here and now makes that look even less credible. I told the psychologist this yesterday, she gave no response. However it's not entirely fake: I really really can't deal with that place at the moment. Perhaps being sick of the jobcentre is reason enough!
Thing is, in any normal workplace people would down tools if they had to deal with the system that the jobcentre foists on people just for being out of work. I could claim this as holiday time as apparently one is allowed two weeks, per year, on holiday. But that requires you fill in a form that demands, again apparently, a contact number. If I give my home number it's not going to look like much of a holiday and they'll think I could just as well attend (though I don't see what's so wrong with taking a holiday at home).
The system is just so monolithic, inflexible and bureaucratic that it just cannot help people - and that's assuming that's it's purpose. Certainly under the Tories it isn't. I have a telephone appointment with my GP this afternoon, hopefully he can help arrange for the psychologist to see me at the surgery and conduct her cognitive tests, as was agreed yesterday. Whether he will be sympathetic or whether he, like the populist view, regard me as a self pitying scrounger is 50/50. I iknow he won't be open to writing a 'fit' note, at least that's the safe assumption.
Even if he did, I'd then have the rigmarole of signing off and haviong to subsist on a fortnight's worth of JSA while the claim is being processed, and, by the time it's resolved, the claim will likely have ended. There's no way he'll write a note for a long period of time, longer than say a month. That's fair enough I suppose.
It just highlights the rigidity of the system: how it simply cannot address real people's issues. There's no legitimate way for someone to contact the JC and negotiate a simple break, even on health grounds, without some effort. Even if I do ring up Friday morning and say I'm unwell, it will be more form filling. My money is meant to go through tomorrow to clear next Wednesday (the normal date) and is there any guarantee they won't think, after I ring up, 'right, screw that' and cancel or recall the payment. I wouldn't put anything past these people.
What I'm saying is that the system is just so far from being fit for its purpose that some of us are just left with ridiculous choices to make. After all how many employers are going to be hiring at this time of the year (I'm sure there are some - just to appease the right wingers out there!)? But the lack of support - the TOTAL lack thereof - is staggering. I still don't even know why I was sent to see the psychologist yesterday. I suspect that what the adviser was thinking she would achieve is actually very different to what the psychologist herself agrees is her function or purpose. While I'm happy for any diagnosis she might be able to offer or even any proper help she can offer, I'm willing to bet, pounds to pence, that she can't really do anything. In which case, what's the point? There is just no help, whatsoever. Why else do I blog, dear reader?
Monday, 19 December 2011
Unbelievable
Simply, unbelievable.
To anyone with a conscience, or at least a grounding in economics, that is.
This society is going to suffer a lot more than the popular and populist media will ever ever reveal.
One side effect that concerns me - and I don't even pretend to have a scintilla of the problems that this person does - is that the level of severity that is required to be taken seriously will rise and rise. While of course people such as Sue Marsh should, without fucking question, receive ALL the help and support they need, those, like myself, who have problems of our own will have to, to quote Pink Floyd, hang on in quiet desperation. Now that's not a plea of self pity, I cannot begin to imagine her struggles, it's pointing out that we are yet again storing up a nest of vipers. People forced to repress much less serious issues are not going to do society any favours as that repression, forced by the system, will be the cause of family breakdown, addiction, nervous breakdown, or just the inability to sustain work at a time when it's more important than ever not to lose work. It exacerbates the divide and rule mentality: with so little resource to go around, cut ever more to the bone by this awful government, the masses are then led by the media increasingly to fight over the scraps when this country could support everyone needing help. Because of this I find myself mindful, as i write, that I'm trying to compare my meagre woes to the condition this poor individual endures. No comparison, nor should there be.
Good luck to Sue Marsh in her quest dealing with this scum outfit in power. What I think is needed is to get these issues and cases such as hers, with all due respect, into the public eye as much as widely and as often as possible. People are just not aware of what's going on.
To anyone with a conscience, or at least a grounding in economics, that is.
This society is going to suffer a lot more than the popular and populist media will ever ever reveal.
One side effect that concerns me - and I don't even pretend to have a scintilla of the problems that this person does - is that the level of severity that is required to be taken seriously will rise and rise. While of course people such as Sue Marsh should, without fucking question, receive ALL the help and support they need, those, like myself, who have problems of our own will have to, to quote Pink Floyd, hang on in quiet desperation. Now that's not a plea of self pity, I cannot begin to imagine her struggles, it's pointing out that we are yet again storing up a nest of vipers. People forced to repress much less serious issues are not going to do society any favours as that repression, forced by the system, will be the cause of family breakdown, addiction, nervous breakdown, or just the inability to sustain work at a time when it's more important than ever not to lose work. It exacerbates the divide and rule mentality: with so little resource to go around, cut ever more to the bone by this awful government, the masses are then led by the media increasingly to fight over the scraps when this country could support everyone needing help. Because of this I find myself mindful, as i write, that I'm trying to compare my meagre woes to the condition this poor individual endures. No comparison, nor should there be.
Good luck to Sue Marsh in her quest dealing with this scum outfit in power. What I think is needed is to get these issues and cases such as hers, with all due respect, into the public eye as much as widely and as often as possible. People are just not aware of what's going on.
Insistence is Futile
I must blog. I have just returned from my appointment with fear - I mean seeing the Work Psychologist. I'm not really sure I'm any the wiser about the point of it, though it wasn't totally without merit. Unfortunately I again lost my cool with the JC who managed, inexplicably in my opinion, to not refund my bus fare. This doesn't really help with my signing appointment on Friday (which I may not be able to attend anyway as there was signage along the way saying the road will close for three days starting Wednesday).
So i turn up in time for my appointment (and some meagre shopping in Morrisons) only to find the psychologist is quarter of an hour late. Perhaps I should stop her benefits. Ok, fair enough, these things can happen. To be fair she seemed nice enough and not an ogre.
At first the meeting comes across as a glorified careers advisory session. I explain to her that I am interested in writing (can't thee tell?), I'm also interested in music, but that's another story. She then asks me if Ive been published, if i have an agent, etc etc. She's taking it way too far. No, I just enjoy writing, as I have for many years. Dare I say it's something I have some measure of talent for. I point out that I'm not looking to become the next JK Rowling, but that, when I mentioned my interest upon starting my claim, I expected more of a response than 'pick something else, we can't help with that'. I figured that, if I can't make it as a millionaire author, then maybe that talent can be used in other areas. I point that out to her, explaining that the system of JSA and the atmosphere of the benefits system just doesn't allow me, I feel, to explore my talents, interests, capabilities, freely so that I can find something, like writing, and work towards that. Instead it's about 'get a job NOW! Only search within our preapproved categories, and receive no help doing so'. A very close minded and almost counter productive approach. Why shouldn't writing, for instance, be a valid choice for someone's career?
It's only when i mention that I've been chasing the doctor for a year to get an Asperger diagnosis that things begin to move. I'd already explained that I HATE dealing with the DWP; I was almost not going to show up this morning and really can't face an encore on Friday. I think she got the message (hopefully). I'm at my limit dealing with them now. She mentioned I should get a fit note, though when I pointed out it was easier said than done she didn't go further. Well of course I'd like to sign off JSA, but that alone won't convince my GP to start issuing sick, sorry, fit, notes afresh. I wonder whether she will convey my utter contempt and 'cognitive dissonance' with the Jobcentre to my adviser and if so how that will come across since she's likely to think 'well too bad that's the system'.
I also pointed out the issue I have with a system, in respect o fESA, that says you must be completely unwell to receive or, otherwise you are 100% ok (ie claim JSA). She seemed to get the point, though I didn't press the issue. As people reading this will know I can go on about this and the shitty nature of the welfare system ad bloody nauseum.
Curiously it turned out she can actually undertake a test for aspergers herself - after a fashion. She has offered, with my GP's approval (as he's still in the mire of organising just such a test through the regular channels) to do some kind of IQ test that will show whether I have characteristics and tendencies of that kind, as well as other, similar conditions (she mentions Dispraxia, which I've never heard of), that may apply in lieu of Aspergers itself. Well that's good. I asked her how that grants me an official diagnosuis and she says it can be taken to the people that issue such things to force their hand. Impressive, I guess. The final point I make is that I do NOT want to undergo this test (or indeed anything) at the JC. She seems able to accommodate that, providing my rather disorganised GP surgery can provide somewhere instead.
The only real issue is that, when asked where this all leads, it doesn't seem that getting any kind of official diagnosis or stamp of approval, if you like, makes much difference when dealing with this wretched welfare system. I'm still going to rely on them for an income, likely through JSA, and therefore the conditions, including turning up to that bloody place, will ultimately remain. Maybe it will make an ESA diagnosis that much easier - oh who am i kidding!
So all in all...I'm not sure! We will have to see what happens when I speak to my GP tomorrow as I'm due a telephone appointment at teatime. Whether he'll write me a sick note I don't know, but anything to avoid Friday...
Speaking of which, my adviser, last time we spoke, assured me that the travel refund issue would be taken care of in time for today. All i would have to do is sign the form and everything would be there waiting, all taken care of, by her. It wasn't. The form wasn't there, neither was the money. The psychologist gets the necessary form which I fill in and even though the adviser in question is actually present, I still have to wait for the money to be collected from, presumably, petty cash. This seems to cause an enormous problem: of all the people on deck today, including two security guards, and two people manning the reception desk (as well as sundry advisers in between clients and whatnot) only one of them has the requisite capability to actually process the form and issue me with a refund. The appointment finishes about half an hour before the bus is due and it takes about 15 minutes (including time needed to go to the nearby public toilet as by this point I'm walking bow legged) to get to the bus stop from the jobcentre.
After about 15 minutes of waiting for this person to appear, during which she seems to forget she's been asked to do this and goes ahead with her next client (and cannot, it seems be interrupted). I protest the point and get exasperation for my trouble - as though I'm being inflexible (again!) and unreasonable. At this point one of the reception guys, the person I'm talking with at this point, gets his knickers in a twist: he does that thing where he questions what you say but really quickly, as if to dismiss you while simultaneously getting the last word in. This is red rag to me at this point:
"we've had this conversation before haven't we sir," he utters quickly before, "I'll let her know that you need the money." No we haven't had this conversation before. Ever. And I need that money to get in on Friday.
My efforts are in vain and I have to leave without collecting my money. It will, apparently, be there to collect when I next come in. Problem is I don't ever want to set foot in that fucking place ever again. They are just hopeless. I of course look like the typical difficult customer. But I cannot understand why NONE of these people could simply get the money and hand it to me. the form was filled in. In fact it should all have been waiting as was agreed. Typical.
So i turn up in time for my appointment (and some meagre shopping in Morrisons) only to find the psychologist is quarter of an hour late. Perhaps I should stop her benefits. Ok, fair enough, these things can happen. To be fair she seemed nice enough and not an ogre.
At first the meeting comes across as a glorified careers advisory session. I explain to her that I am interested in writing (can't thee tell?), I'm also interested in music, but that's another story. She then asks me if Ive been published, if i have an agent, etc etc. She's taking it way too far. No, I just enjoy writing, as I have for many years. Dare I say it's something I have some measure of talent for. I point out that I'm not looking to become the next JK Rowling, but that, when I mentioned my interest upon starting my claim, I expected more of a response than 'pick something else, we can't help with that'. I figured that, if I can't make it as a millionaire author, then maybe that talent can be used in other areas. I point that out to her, explaining that the system of JSA and the atmosphere of the benefits system just doesn't allow me, I feel, to explore my talents, interests, capabilities, freely so that I can find something, like writing, and work towards that. Instead it's about 'get a job NOW! Only search within our preapproved categories, and receive no help doing so'. A very close minded and almost counter productive approach. Why shouldn't writing, for instance, be a valid choice for someone's career?
It's only when i mention that I've been chasing the doctor for a year to get an Asperger diagnosis that things begin to move. I'd already explained that I HATE dealing with the DWP; I was almost not going to show up this morning and really can't face an encore on Friday. I think she got the message (hopefully). I'm at my limit dealing with them now. She mentioned I should get a fit note, though when I pointed out it was easier said than done she didn't go further. Well of course I'd like to sign off JSA, but that alone won't convince my GP to start issuing sick, sorry, fit, notes afresh. I wonder whether she will convey my utter contempt and 'cognitive dissonance' with the Jobcentre to my adviser and if so how that will come across since she's likely to think 'well too bad that's the system'.
I also pointed out the issue I have with a system, in respect o fESA, that says you must be completely unwell to receive or, otherwise you are 100% ok (ie claim JSA). She seemed to get the point, though I didn't press the issue. As people reading this will know I can go on about this and the shitty nature of the welfare system ad bloody nauseum.
Curiously it turned out she can actually undertake a test for aspergers herself - after a fashion. She has offered, with my GP's approval (as he's still in the mire of organising just such a test through the regular channels) to do some kind of IQ test that will show whether I have characteristics and tendencies of that kind, as well as other, similar conditions (she mentions Dispraxia, which I've never heard of), that may apply in lieu of Aspergers itself. Well that's good. I asked her how that grants me an official diagnosuis and she says it can be taken to the people that issue such things to force their hand. Impressive, I guess. The final point I make is that I do NOT want to undergo this test (or indeed anything) at the JC. She seems able to accommodate that, providing my rather disorganised GP surgery can provide somewhere instead.
The only real issue is that, when asked where this all leads, it doesn't seem that getting any kind of official diagnosis or stamp of approval, if you like, makes much difference when dealing with this wretched welfare system. I'm still going to rely on them for an income, likely through JSA, and therefore the conditions, including turning up to that bloody place, will ultimately remain. Maybe it will make an ESA diagnosis that much easier - oh who am i kidding!
So all in all...I'm not sure! We will have to see what happens when I speak to my GP tomorrow as I'm due a telephone appointment at teatime. Whether he'll write me a sick note I don't know, but anything to avoid Friday...
Speaking of which, my adviser, last time we spoke, assured me that the travel refund issue would be taken care of in time for today. All i would have to do is sign the form and everything would be there waiting, all taken care of, by her. It wasn't. The form wasn't there, neither was the money. The psychologist gets the necessary form which I fill in and even though the adviser in question is actually present, I still have to wait for the money to be collected from, presumably, petty cash. This seems to cause an enormous problem: of all the people on deck today, including two security guards, and two people manning the reception desk (as well as sundry advisers in between clients and whatnot) only one of them has the requisite capability to actually process the form and issue me with a refund. The appointment finishes about half an hour before the bus is due and it takes about 15 minutes (including time needed to go to the nearby public toilet as by this point I'm walking bow legged) to get to the bus stop from the jobcentre.
After about 15 minutes of waiting for this person to appear, during which she seems to forget she's been asked to do this and goes ahead with her next client (and cannot, it seems be interrupted). I protest the point and get exasperation for my trouble - as though I'm being inflexible (again!) and unreasonable. At this point one of the reception guys, the person I'm talking with at this point, gets his knickers in a twist: he does that thing where he questions what you say but really quickly, as if to dismiss you while simultaneously getting the last word in. This is red rag to me at this point:
"we've had this conversation before haven't we sir," he utters quickly before, "I'll let her know that you need the money." No we haven't had this conversation before. Ever. And I need that money to get in on Friday.
My efforts are in vain and I have to leave without collecting my money. It will, apparently, be there to collect when I next come in. Problem is I don't ever want to set foot in that fucking place ever again. They are just hopeless. I of course look like the typical difficult customer. But I cannot understand why NONE of these people could simply get the money and hand it to me. the form was filled in. In fact it should all have been waiting as was agreed. Typical.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)