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Stepping Out part 7

After an unexplained two week absence my latest appointment lasted all of about five minutes. He hadn't had the opportunity to speak to my GP, not sure how or why but there you go. This is apparently going to happen next week after which, at some random time, he will contact me. This will be a waste of time since nothing will come of this. Why, because he is the person who's supposed to be helping me according to the service the GP referred me to.

An absolutely spot on example of this came when he finished by telling me he had an idea of how I could obtain a bus pass. Remember, this is something he agreed I should have access to (important point). He had discovered another patient, with similar issues, had been referred to another social enterprise called Alliance Housing. I don't know much about them, but they do much the same thing as he does and the rest of these groups.

You might think, ok fair enough; give them a call. That's fine and I did (six week waiting list …
Recent posts

Capitalism's Inferno

Some people might think it poor taste to 'politicise' or make political 'capital' out of a tragedy.

Those people are wrong.

They are also usually the sort that defends the system that, demonstrably, leads to the deaths of innocent working class people lashed up in firetraps such as we have seen.

Make no mistake this is political. It always was and, if things inexplicably don't change, they always will. Not since the miners strike - and perhaps not even that - will you see such a verdant example of how not only capitalism fails but communism works.

It is capitalism and nothing else that has created the conditions wherein ordinary human beings, citizens of this mean malfeasant land.

The drive for profit encourages the kind of corner cutting that leads to sub standard workmanship performed on the very homes people are forced - and make no mistake no one chooses to live in high rise deathtraps - to live in.

The capitalist class structure allows those who cut costs to j…

Stepping Out 6

Didn't post after last week, which was stupid, as now I have to remember why I wasn't impressed afterwards.

I think it was because in so many ways this kind of mental health support feels like gaslighting. Previously he had asserted strongly I have social phobia, getting me to fill in a qustionaire. Next thing he's telling me that's not the case in such a way that I feel I've had my time wasted. I don't think that I don't have a degree of it either, but because I manage to do a thing, such as go to an increasingly racist* support place (1in4, weston super mare), therefore all the inner struggle involved in achieving that counts for nothing. That isn't helpful at all.
So today's appointment isn't happening. In fact neither is next week's - they tell me this quite matter of factly. It's as if the support isn't needed, and this is just a minor inconvenience. Oh there's nothing in the diary for next week so no appointment. It's a…

Stepping Out 5

You know I find these phone consultations to be hard work. I don't know whether it's the format or the endless questionnaire that I have to fill out every week, or the constant need on their part to reassure themselves I'm not going to slash my wrists. What would they do with a patient that said they were going to: have them arrested? Sectioned? I can't imagine many people in that positoin feel compelled to be honest. That's the problem with our system: it's not there to help you, it's there to impose a particular authority upon you. You WILL be made well.

Apparently my questionnaire response was slightly more positive this week. So what? Doesn't really mean anything. Assigning numbers to questions on a piece of paper is a poor reflection of real life. It doesn't address or assist with any of the issues at hand. Of course helping with those issues, social isolation, financial insecurity, the reality I am never going to find a career, and the cost of…

Stepping Out 4

Been a little while since last we 'stepped out', but as of last week I see to have a stable service, albeit on the phone.

Over the phone is a little difficult. It makes interaction difficult. Even though social environments can be tricky for me (I tend to tire when I'm asked lots of questions, especially ones that are devoid of necessary context), the telephone is much more of an effort. I feel I have to speak even when I'd rather not because that's much more necessary. I have to acknowledge every spoken word much more. It's harder work.

That said they seem to have found someone who, despite the service's unfortunate propensity for endless endless questions and questionnaires, has a better understanding of my situation. Of course he doesn't personally have the power to solve these issues, at least he recognises that social isolation is a major problem and that without recourse to affordable (preferably free) public transport nothing he offers will be wo…

Every Day is on Shifting Sands

Just read the local rag. The headline: an ex serviceman commits suicide. He couldn't cope.

Who can live like that?

There is no security in this society. One day you can be financially secure, the next you are dependent on the generosity of aggrieved millionaires who, for long ages in this country, have cornered the seat of power. They control the education establishments that are little more than breeding pits for government. They learn the special handshakes that move them, like fat chess pieces, across the board that is our society. Guess who the pawns are.

Who can live like that?

If you are out of work every day is on shifting sands. You are running just to stand still, just to stay in place. Yours is the lot of people who would otherwise be peers and comrades were it not for artifical barriers that separate us. These are the administrators of a system they do not control that keeps them frightened. To process that they must persecute us. They must make us jump through the most …

Yet Again, There Is No Help (part infinite)

How many different ways are there to say the same thing, and make the same point?

There just isn't help.

At all.

At.

All.

After a night of no sleep, and a sweaty subconsciousness pricking and intensifying my fear of a Tory majority, I decide to make a GP appointment to get a referral to the Primary Care Liaison Service for mental health. These are supposed to be the experts, unfortunately the GP can't guarantee they will listen. The main reason for this is that Positive Step (see my Stepping Out posts) have been given monopoly over provision.

I fully expect that, as I'm not schizophrenic or psychotic, so they won't be interested.

What is most frustrating is that, the more limited the options, the more disinterested the doctor. They have less to offer and so the less they seem to care. This is a weird and disturbing corollary.

The message here is: depression (aka "low mood") is not a serious issue. The pervasive level of stress in our society has increased suc…