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Showing posts from 2015

Green Gone

Over the last week or so, some bright spark, for reasons unknown, has decided to completely destroy a nearby field. This field has not been 'developed' or managed in any way since I can remember, and that's several decades. I remember playing there as a kid, amongst the tree trunks, stinging nettles and grass. That doesn't sound appealiong, but it's nature; wild and free! In all seriousness, while such places might not sound appealing, I like how they look. It is how they were meant to look; not manicured and manufactured artificial environments. 
It saddens me to see someone come along and tear it all down. Now it's a muddy field, the treeline that has demarcated this environment around me like a swaying comfort blanket has been torn down. All that remains is a grotty brown field, left for purposes unknown. There was no consultation or even information. I rang the parish council but they seemed neither to care nor know. All they could say was that there are n…

PCT Phone Call

In the dim and distant past my GP said she'd write to the CMHT regarding...whatever. At this point, I'm running on fumes with regard to mental health. There's not really any support and the people you speak to who claim they are there to help either lie or make claims they then deny. For example, the Aspergers clinician who diagnosed me said she'd speak to the ADD people in the same building. When I chased that up she denied she'd said that.

So this morning a "PCT liaison" rang me in respect of the aforementioned letter. Apparently the ADD people recently said (in respect of my GP contacting them herself) they couldn't diagnose me because they think I have anxiety issues severe enough to taint the diagnosis - maybe they are right.

To be honest, the liaison may well have good intentions, but what can they offer? They can't unseat this government that is ravaging social care. They can't depose the exploitative economic system and the feudal hie…

My Brother Hate

It's very depressing watching the decline of our society. I see it everywhere: the malaise mixed with a frustration that borders on malevolence. Everyone, as human beings, senses there is something amiss but few seem to understand what it is and fewer care enough to want change. People are all too comfortable with divisive TV rubbish, binge drinking and jingoism.

It's sa to see this affect people I know. Ever since my friend, who isn't even someone I'm desperately close to, got with his current partner I've perceived a change. It's not that she's the root of all evil, but she's just that kind of ignorant: she spends her time glued to Facebook gossiping while some god awful rubbish is on the TV - such as Benefits Street. She also reads the Sun!

People like this don't seem to bother to criticise what they read, they just consume. They passively interact with the information that is beamed into their consciousness and rarely question it, and that is ve…

No Vote

Second time's the charm?
It looks like we'll be back in the middle east before long. Cameron wanted us in there a couple of years ago, to fight alongside the rebel groups against Assad. Now he wants us in to fight against what those rebel groups became - Daesh - but also we still hate Assad, boo hiss!
This will be the death of Corbyn. I like the guy, but he's still the leader of an exploitative pro-capitalist political entity. He has born torn into by the media since before winning leadership of the party and now faces the mutinous warmongers within Labour that, along with the resentful Blairite portion, will strike hard to unseat him. If that happens Labour will be lost for generations, but they don't care because they have power as capitalists if not in government. 
I remember watching, once in the period Merely Bland was Labour leader, the state opening of Parliament. Both parties, behind their leader like kids in school assembly, filing into the house. Merely Bland…

The Arrogance of Power

There can be few instances, now, of Tory behaviour that can really come as a surprise; that can be considered shocking. However to witness Phillip Davies, the dishonourable 'gentleman' for Shipley - a place I can only conclude is run by cunts - filibuster a bill whose sole purpose was to ease the cost of parking in hospitals. 
For ninety minutes this inhuman misogynistic piece of utter shit spoke - with the sole purpose of shutting down the vote. 
This is not democracy. This is the politics of the ruling elite at its most venal; a select cabal of Tories who's sole purpose is to sabotage bills they don't like. The rules - inexplicably - do not prevent this. Private members bills have no time limit for talking and so it is quite permissible for one of these scumbags to decide that, instead of having a civilised democratic discussion, they will take the piss. In this case there was a little gang of them and, like the school bullies they no doubt were, they saw the opport…


I feel raw. I feel vulnerable, in a way I never really expected.
For a long time a tooth has been bugging me -  one of mine that is; not the errant molar of a neighbour for example. Today I had the offending article removed. I have been dreading it, absolutely dreading it. But as the day wore on that feeling has sublimated into a deep sense of vulnerability; a part of me that has died and is with me no more. Even though it was just a fucked tooth.
Oddly I was expecting to feel better and relieved a lot quicker, but the list of post-extraction requirements, and the repair time, are a great deal more onerous than I imagined. 
It's ridiculous really; right now there are children undergoing chemotherapy, facing cancer and loss of a more profound and painful kind. Why am I complaining?
It is because I am alone. 
No matter the procedure, the company of another makes all the difference. The presence of someone to assure and reassure. A hand to hold. An ear to hear. That is the sense of …

Protesting Protest

Last weekend, and into the middle of this week, the People's Assembly, and various affiliates most notably some of the trade unions, visited Manchester with the notion they would somehow send the Tories a message. I wish this were possible. I would love to think that all it took to dethrone the wicked of Westminster was the voice of comfortable protest in the form of the People's Assembly and it's talking shop commentary carousel. Of course the Tories weren't instead, haven't stood down, and have, within their comfortable champagne drenched enclave, pointed, predictably, to their mandate from the election. 
I agree that mandate is paper thin, but it is a mandate and it's going to take more than a few well meaning student union dreamers organising another anodyne march through town. I watched the speeches on Youtube and it's the same faces saying the same platitudes, interchangeable with every speech made previously at other 'protests'. This is ridi…

New Labour?

So Corbyn did it. He's now the leader of our esteemed opposition - at least until the Blairite element shaft him, or the newspapers make his continued leadership untenable and the knives come out anyway. Or perhaps he will make it through 5 years of hell to win the next election, at which point he will be in his early seventies. At that point he is likely going to face another Tory leader as Cameron will, most likely afterwards, make way for Osborne - unless that wiff waff peddling pretend-buffoon and class hater Boris pushes through. Then we could see a world where Boris the posh boy is President Trump's poodle. This of course assumes the Americans are stupid enough to elect that racist misogynist cunt their overlord.

And yet the rhetoric continues: the message of Labour's inherent financial incompetence abounds still, after five years of Tory mismanagement and austerity. Never mind the foodbanks, the dismal failure to restart the economy, to manage the housing benefit bi…

Corbyn, what is best in life...

"Crush your enemies. See them driven before you. Hear the lamentations of the Tories."

Jeremy Corbyn, on the face of it, seems on course to inherit the poison chalice that is leadership of the modern labour party. I think one of two things will happen: his bid will be chewed up by the accounting process and he will fail, or he will win and find himself leading a party of traitors.

The evidence for the former is the disgraceful way the party has handled 'entryists', those people seeking to join solely to support Corbyn whom the party believes don't support it's 'aims and values'. This is patently absurd since Jeremy is a Labour MP of long standing, to argue that people are joining the party solely to support one of its members is as absurd as it sounds. If they do not believe these people are supporting the party's true values then what does that say about Jeremy? I have never seen such political dishonesty from any party - and I include the Torie…

Will Get Fooled Again?

More ridiculousness; this time from the human slime that is Matthew Hancock. This creature is already known to me thanks to his regular appearances as a Tory pundit on the BBC, talking bollocks. He tried to argue against Paul Krugman on the issue of austerity economics, but the former has a nobel prize in the field and Hancock has nothing but contempt; "you're wrong" he claims, on the basis that, being a Tory, he isn't.Yesterday he came out with the latest iteration of the government's viciously circular war on welfare. Another "intensive" work scheme, this time primarily aimed at the young - because after all they broke the economy didn't they!

If nothing else this is actually a tacit admission that everything the Tories have tried, all born of their hateful ideology, since 2010 has failed. Wasn't the work programme meant to be intensive? Wasn't the post WP service meant to be intensive? Wasn't every aspect of signing on meant to be int…

Won't Get Fooled Again?

Although the ascendancy of Jeremy Corbyn would no doubt be a positive for our archaic and corrupt political system, it seems Labour are beyond hope. Why do they continue to allow their politics to be dictated by the right. The centre ground has shifted so far to the right that we have the sad spectacle of the other leadership candidates arguing against Jeremy because we mustn't upset business.

Here they all, including, sadly, Corbyn, on LBC engaged in a leadership debate. The problem with this is that, again, they are letting the tail wag the dog. Iain Dale, the host, is another tedious right wing attack dog; people like him don't give a toss about the rights of workers and exist only to reinforce that same central position of business, quite literally as usual. He even asks Jeremy why he thinks he's qualified to be PM, asserting that Jez hasn't run a business or a bank or a corporation (a bit like Cameron, Howard, Hague and especially Iain Duncan Sauron). In fact ther…

The Nature of the Bully

What's worse: the nasty bully or the one that pretends he's your friend?
After the election I felt utterly bereft; alienated. These people are not just in control, but in control of an ideology that makes people believe that, despite how little they get, they must never ask for more. These people believe that the nation's riches - it's assets and income - is their personal property; that it is for them to use to dictate how others must live and what others can or can't have. They believe this because their class has historically held that position, originally by brute force. Now that brute force is the one's and zero's of financial sorcery.
Knowing that the Tories were not likely to transform from bastards I had hoped Osborne, under the aegis of a Tory majority, overreach himself. That he might deliver a budget of such brutality it would shake the confidence of those who created that, admittedly thin, majority. Of course that's just my naivete; what we…


This morning, on my way to the butchers, I took the long way as it's a nice day. 
Don't really enjoy feeling ill though. It's hard to accurately describe the weird hypoglcyemic/metabolic problem that I have, but I know when it happens, and it did then, as bad as any other. I suspect that whatever mental health issues I have, as yet still undiagnosed, they play a part in creating some unholy bizarre synergy.
Consequently it's like experiencing a kind of sensory pressure. Stimulus becomes intense, noise merges into one monotonous experience that threatens to overwhelm while the already bright summer sun threatens to take me out of my skull. All the while I'm walking and my legs, which occasionally are feeling a little wobbly, feel like they are walking a treadmill; as if I'm being walked, not that I'm walking. In a weird way I feel that, if I stop, I'll collapse.
My thinking goes into overdrive and I'm drawn inward, my heart quickens as does my breat…

After the March

I'll be honest it all seems pretty hopeless.
A government comprising some of the most ideologically challenged market obsessed and incoherent lunatics I've ever known has gotten elected. They claim they have a mandate to kick us all in the teeth because we've asked them to - despite a quarter of the electorate actually voting for them. 
How is that right? 
We have an minister for equality who believes marriage should be allowed to people on the basis of their sexuality.
We have a minister for disability issues who not only votes against the interests of those he represents, but recently applauded a court decision not to allow compensation to those his government had treated unlawfully. Denied PIP for a year these people were driven to utter desperation, including food banks and loan sharks, and yet will these 'fine upstanding people' put their hands up and apologise? Will they put their hands in their pockets and offer due recompense? Will they fuck!
We have an em…

It's Corbyn Time

Jeremy Corbyn has been nominated to stand for Labour leadership, the greatest poison chalice of our time. He won't win of course, this is just an exercise in Labour trying to appeal to disenfranchised supporters in the wake of their rabid, post-election, right wing frenzy as the prospective leaders attempted to outdo each other in their love of Big Business. A shameful and wretched display.
Curiously the Tories seem to have a Twitter campaign going to support him.
You might think this is because they think he's a risible old socialist who's values will clearly further doom us all. Further? Labour, in government, weren't remotely socialist. Yet the Tories can't wrap their head around this and so we had the disgraceful spectacle of the red top press hysterically trying to portray hapless Ed Milliband as the Red Menace, in league with Lucifer's own, Nicola Sturgeon. In response Miliband rolled over and gave the Tories the key to the door by proclaiming he'd r…

The Self Indulgence of Mental Health

One of the most pernicious aspects of poor mental health is how others don't understand. How can they? Unless you live with these feelings, for example, you cannot know what it's like any more than I can know what it's like to be born a fish. People tend to think, in my opinion, that the sufferer is merely feeling sorry for themselves; at worst they are being selfish.
It isn't like that at all. For example, though I'm not entirely, sure I believe two people I know are planning on getting married. My friend, who would be the groom, doesn't know about the issues I face (even words like that are misconstrued, though what else can we use but words). We have never spoken about mental health and I have never raised these issues; it's not something one blurts out in conversation and, while he's a nice guy, he's not the sort of person who'd really understand. That of course is a judgement, but then, again, what else can we do to negotiate our way throu…

Britain's Hardest Grafter

Apparently not a joke; this is, as I'm sure most now know, a TV programme to be aired on the BBC. Clearly another divisive poverty porn exercise in the obscenity that is the Christian Work Ethic and rooted firmly in capitalist notions of winners and losers. Literally in this case, because those poor saps who aren't awarded the title, at the end of what will surely be a plug for some grubby gangmaster's business, won't be seen as winners.
I'm betting that business will belong to someone like Charlie Mullens the millionaire plumber who has surfaced in recent years with his 'common sense' view of reality - or what passes for reality in his gutter press programmed mind.
Britain's Hardest Grafter - and what happens to Britain's Second Hardest Grafter? He or she will be treated no different than Britain's Least Hardest Grafter. This is a sick fact of our striver and skiver society: close only counts, as they say, in horseshoes and hand grenades and…

Slouching Onwards

Tomorrow it's another trip to the GP to probably waste my time on the fruitless quest to get a diagnosis for a condition that I don't even really understand. There seem to be so many 'neuro diverse' (and I'm probably misusing that term) conditions that diagnosis is impossible; I suspect most such people probably have bits of all different conditions - different being the issue. These, like me, I feel, are people that just feel permanently and detrimentally out of sorts. It's difficult to explain, like trying to imagine what it's like to be a cat for instance, but it's been there throughout my entire life. Unfortunately the one time I try to get this recognised I'm forced to deal with a system that is prejudiced against recognising anything that might be seen to inhibit one's productivity; one's ability to fit into the mainstream mass production line.
I don't really think I have the energy to get into it with her tomorrow. She'll mos…

Short Sighted

It's frightening how brainwashed people are.
I hate to use that word, 'brainwashed', because it makes me sound like a conspiracy theorist. I'm not. Capitalism isn't so much a conspiracy as a system that powerful people endorse out of simple self interest. The tragedy is how that self interest causes misery for everyone else - and people don't care.
But people refuse to believe that this system is as broken as it is - yet the Tories have a majority government with only 24% of the electorate. Yet nobody really complains because nobody likes a sore loser and capitalism promotes the winner/loser mentality in everything it does. This is essential because it's easier to marginalise dissent by branding such voices as belonging to losers - people who have some character flaw of their own making (also important - everyone is the author of their own misfortune).
People have also been conditioned to believe that negative thinking - criticism - is to be denied. No one…


What the hell happened?
I woke up Friday morning hoping the exit polls were just speculation. In fact I was up at 5-30 remembering that was the time they announce the results for Wirral. That turned out to be the only real light (along with Farage) in this black night descending. The first voice I hear is the capitulating tones of Ed Miliband as Labour's rescue boat crashed onto the rocks with a great many casualties. 
We are now looking at a Tory majority in the house of about 330 give or take. I suppose that isn't huge, but they have around 90 seats over Labour. As far as I can tell any vote where we need the opposition to win (in other words all of them) we are likely to lose - that is after all the point of having a majority.
This is shit. I have never been so scared in my life. I have spent the last two days in a daze, bereft. It's been a funeral for the soul where the only comfort is that I'm not alone. Yet now we are all more alone than ever before given what i…

Good Cop Bad Cop?

So i'm walking back from the shop armed with a box of Shreddies (my breakfast of choice currently) and I spy with my little eye the local Tory doing the rounds, accompanied by a couple of goons. Unfortunately for me the road to hell is paved with good intentions and I decide I'd like to try and 'corner' him on the issue of foodbanks and sanctions, albeit briefly because i don't really want to be talking to these people. 
Now I'm worried he'll 'recognise' me, somehow (I've never met him before so why should he) and that, stupidly, I didn't calculate he might come a-knocking later on. I rather hope he doesn't and have put a notice on the door saying, politely, no Tories. 
The problem is that he's all very charming and polite. He tries to explain that, given the Trussell Trust is a relatively recent enterprise, we can't assume that the foodbank crisis (which only a fool would deny) is a product of the current austerity plan and the…

Graham Nation

The never ending capitalist carousel continues: for some reason I tune into 5 Live every morning. Like a child with a scab I can't help but 'pick' at it, listening to the 'debate' for as long as I can stand. Usually not very long as it's a haven for desperately media brainwashed curtain-twitchers and cliche-spouters regurgitating a series of almost non-sequiturs of connected slogans and soundbites. Ultimately meaningless and completely non-progressive. This morning someone called 'Graham' who apparently runs an agency recruiting for warehouse staff lamented the lack of ambition across the nation in native folk wanting to work in a warehouse for, presumably, as little as possible - after he takes his cut, of course. Across the table from him was Nigel Farage trotting out his greatest hits; I don't think that man has said anything new in the last year.
So that's two wealthy (one assumes - unless that guy is just shit at recruitment, which is enti…