Tomorrow it's another trip to the GP to probably waste my time on the fruitless quest to get a diagnosis for a condition that I don't even really understand. There seem to be so many 'neuro diverse' (and I'm probably misusing that term) conditions that diagnosis is impossible; I suspect most such people probably have bits of all different conditions - different being the issue. These, like me, I feel, are people that just feel permanently and detrimentally out of sorts. It's difficult to explain, like trying to imagine what it's like to be a cat for instance, but it's been there throughout my entire life. Unfortunately the one time I try to get this recognised I'm forced to deal with a system that is prejudiced against recognising anything that might be seen to inhibit one's productivity; one's ability to fit into the mainstream mass production line.
I don't really think I have the energy to get into it with her tomorrow. She'll most likely keep me waiting; this GP has a habit of keeping people waiting for at least 90 minutes if not longer. I'm sure that can't be permissible, but, despite complaining, they never do anything about it. "She likes to take her time with her patients", that's commendable in principle, but it's not her time, is it.
I haven't heard a damned thing from the Work Psychologist since before Christmas, if I recall correctly (I probably don't, to be fair, but it feels that long). I've emailed her twice to no avail. Where could she be? Perhaps she's been moved on, shunted to a different department, or a different office elsewhere in the country. The emails didn't provoke an automated response of any kind so I assume it's still active. She could be dead, or abducted by aliens for all I know. More likely is that the department has been shrunk to the point of (even more) uselessness. Regardless I'm on my own now. There's no real interest in providing any support, and in this new era of dispassionate conservatism, I don't imagine mental health services are going to be bolstered any.
I have other issues as well, equally ignored; a metabolic problem that is labelled as 'functional hypoglycemia', but I don't think it is. It could be a simple allergy, but there's no real interest in finding out. I would have thought, having participated in a number of blood tests to find out over the years, they would have found out. I have been repeatedly, alarmingly so in fact, told I'm NOT diabetic. Maybe I am, maybe they are wrong, though that would be a staggering level of incompetence. All I know is that I have a short fuse when it comes to hunger and that, when I get hungry, it needs to be sated or I feel very dodgy. The frequency with which this happens during the day can vary quite considerably. The upshot is that, in the workplace, I would struggle. If I were my own boss or working for home in some capacity (no help with that of course) it would be easier. These subtle realities are lost on all concerned.