I started this blog thinking I could do something useful, provide some decent citizen journalism, or at the very least offer something credible for, at the risk of stroking my own ego, posterity. But in truth I have found it very difficult to keep up with my own standards. This is true of all the writing I engage in. It isn't that I don't enjoy it, or that I don't know how (YMMV), but that I just struggle to maintain the concentration. This is part of the problem, mental health-wise, that I have tried to address in recent years; all to no avail. Unfortunately it is simply perceived as an excuse by our society. In response to that, I offer none. I am what I am, and if that means I'm lazy then lazy I must be.
I was due to have a WCA on the 7th; instead I rang and said I couldn't go through with it and that they could pursue whatever consequences they saw fit. Curiously they offered me the opportunity to postpone the interview, which I did, though I'm not sure why. Apparently claimants have the right to a one-time 'no questions asked' postponement.
Today I received the new appointment, which is Monday the 27th at 9-40am. I can't say I'm looking forward to it. I don't really want to be sat in the waiting room, which I will be because one of their tactics is to deliberately keep 'customers' waiting. It's part of the assessment process. I don't want to be surrounded by strangers, and I don't want to the attention of staff like the receptionist who was present last time. Her attitude was thoroughly unpleasant and judgemental, with that permanent "I'm better than thou and I can barely tolerate your presence" attitude.
I also don't think I have a cat in hell's chance of passing a Work Capability Assessment. Amusingly I compare my chance to pass to my certainty that I will most assuredly struggle in a working environment. I believe that I need support, but support there is not.
I was supposed to have a Work Focussed (aren't they all?) Interview at the JC last Thursday. I didn't attend and again rang up saying that I wasn't going to attend and that whatever consequences were forthcoming I would accept. I've no wish to fight these people any more, I haven't the energy. I was offered a telephone appointment instead, which I took. It didn't go anywhere though. The guy was friendly enough and his attitude was sympathetic, to be fair, but what can he offer? What can he do? The system isn't designed to help or support people. He mentioned that I should write to my MP. But why; the guy is a Tory who voted to cut ESA by 30%. He wants me to court the attention of someone like that? Irony! That aside, all he could offer was to talk to colleagues in the Work Choices programme and that we would talk in a month. I did tell him that I had no chance of passing my WCA, so there's not much point. I guess we will find out, I saw no point in refusing to talk again.
Work Choices is another DWP programme, which immediately makes it suspect in my book, even though I don't' know it very well. It specifically targets people out of work for health reasons, but I can't see what it can offer. Ultimately it's going to be the same old same old, maybe with a slightly softer approach so as not to be seen as bullying the disabled. Not that bullying has ever been something the DWP has had a problem with. Who knows maybe they will have something unique to offer, but in terms of healthcare, mental health support, training, etc, none of it will meet the need. A little bit of 'confidence building', some box ticking, polishing up the old CV etc. Meaningless: no amount of polish will make my CV competitive, I haven't the experience, and, with a history of unemployment on grounds of mental health, there is precisely no chance of finding a job, never mind a decent one. That assumes I can tolerate the nightmare anxiety labyrinth that is Universal Jobmatch.
What future is there?
PS: I notice that comments are apparently being made, but they aren't showing up on this page, only the email notification. If I don't respond to anyone kind enough to comment, know that's the reason why.
