This is the Dark Year; 2017. Last year took it's toll and started the trend, but I think the trouble we could see this year will be worse, with President Trump, the increasingly hapless (sigh) Jeremy Corbyn, the Tory onslaught continues, the rise of the right, the increasingly inflammable middle east.
That's not what I'm going to talk about.
Unfortunately this year I think my health is going to diminish.
What a massively self indulgent thing to say, you might, reasonably, be thinking. Of course; there are 7billion other people on this planet and a considerable portion of those are worse off than me.
But that's just capitalist propaganda; if we ignore our own problems then how do we come together to solve the greater problem of an oppressive system?
Who knows. All I know is that my hypoglycaemia, or whatever the fuck it is, has completely knocked me for six. My sleep is terrible, I'm riddled with constant hunger pangs, and when I miss a meal (I say when, but I do my damnedest to make sure that never happens) I start to feel really bad. This is not how humans should function.
Unfortunately in this consumer saccharine society finding ways to ameliorate this is phenomenally difficult. Most everything available in the shops, particularly if you live out of town, is poor quality or expensive. Getting help and support is a struggle in itself: i had to wait 70 minutes in the doctor's surgery just to be seen yesterday. What will come of the blood tests I took, who knows. God knows what's wrong with my body. All I know is that I cannot function like this: how would I hold down a full time paid job? Sure I might get lucky and find a sympathetic flexible employer within a reasonable travel distance. But then again I have to compete, in an increasingly toxic and shrill labour market, with less deficient and dysfunctional human beings. Who do you think the average employer will take on? As the economy continues to struggle under austerity (and possibly Brexit) my chances grow increasingly slim.
What happens next time the DWP invites me in for an interview? If I struggle for evidence to support this health issue, just as I did with mental health issues, then the ESA process gets harder. The law of averages favours an unfavourable outcome...in the fullness of time.
I'm not sure how to cope with this. Where can I go to get help when I have to wait so long just to be seen by a GP - and one who hasn't the time, or possibly even the expertise, to deal with me? Sure I can resort to the populist egalitarianism of the internet wherein a plurality of opinions and answers is given by people who may or may not know what they are talking about.
For instance, people seem keen to recommend a low carb diet. Having looked at this, I cannot imagine how I would even begin with this. Now that's not even an argument against it, in fact it's a criticism of our food marketplace and our attitudes to food: lots of affordable food is relatively carb-heavy. Bread for example is almost a given in diets. Sure you can eat healthier types of bread, but try cutting it out entirely in a diety dependent on increased protein, ostensibly (and expensively) meat.
I find the whole thing overwhelming and I'm really struggling.
