Why is keeping a blog so difficult? When you find doing things difficult then doing a thing is difficult. Procrastination is temptation. It is no solution. Filling in the ESA50 is a lot like this. I can do it, but I sure as hell can't do it all at once - and I don't want to.
Last Monday (the 5th) was the date for my latest WCA. Uncharacteristically, it actually happened. There was no postponement, although the doctor himself (assuming that he is properly qualified) was late. This, last, irony has blown my mind. I'm now left so ambivalent by all this that I just feel nothing. Of course this will change whence cometh the inevitable outcome. I'm told to expect this within 4-6 weeks. That, however, is a statement with no content whatsoever. It could arrive today. I have no way of knowing. In fact this is one of the defining features for people living on ESA. You cannot make arrangements nor plan. I have saved the majority of my income for precisely that reason. Consequently it has deprived me of the opportunity to use that income practically. Or even frivolously. How does that make any sense.
I arrived on time. If I hadn't there would have been consequences the least of which would have been a very extended spell in the dismal waiting room. When the doctor arrives late it's just a fact of modern life (public trains) and I have to lump it. No sanction for him of course.
I have no idea what the guy's qualifications were or are. I have no idea if he has any experience as an optician or eye doctor. However that is the reason why I had to be seen by him; a process that has taken two years and numerous lies (which have netted me a grand total of twenty five whole pounds in compensation! Generous, no?) to get to this point. Ultimately it didn't matter because, despite the presence of testing material (various eye charts), not once did he bother to test me. Wait, that's not true: he did test whether my legs work ok. They do. At no point in my claim have I ever reported mobility or lower limb problems. Ever.
It is pretty clear that the reason I, and presumably others, need a particular flavour of assessor is to cover their own arses. It's insurance. That way the inevitable (because the testing process is still shit) complaints about skating over reported issues can be met with a firmer response: your assessor was properly qualified in optometry/sight. Maximus (the corporation running these tests) calls this 'government training'. At least that's what they told me. Clearly that's bullshit because that implies the process would involve testing the relevant area of contention. But since that didn't happen, anyone - including the first person I saw at the outset of this nonsense - could have have tested me. It's a standardised process. However the particular person that did has government training allowing Maximus to cover their backside against a complaint I might (inevitably have to) make regarding them not actually testing my eyes.
I could go on, but really all there is to say is that this standardised test is such a simplistic tool. It is administered, not by actual doctors, but by a profit making corporate entity. They cannot - they are functionally incapable - of delivering the kind of process that's needed. You might as well ask a blind person what the sky looks like. This is just a procedure, a revenue stream, to these people. Doctors should be running this, if it must exist at all, but they all refuse. They don't want to get their hands dirty. I find that pretty damning really; a doctor is OK with life or death situations and diagnosing incurable diseases, but they draw the line at reporting whether someone is fit for work. That implies they, the BMA for instance, believe the likes of Maximus are better at it than they. That is nonsense.
Ultimately this standardised test is simply to outline what you do on a typical day. When do you rise, do you put your socks on, do you make your breakfast, what time do you feed the dog? It's intended to determine what you can or can't do. This is an approach that is devoid of any meaningful context. Whether or not you experience difficulty is ignored, it's disastrously binary. Either you can go to the shop and buy a pack of eggs (in other words, you can go to any shop, anywhere, at any time, and buy anything, no matter the conditions), or you can't. The nature of the shop, it's familiarity, distance, and ease of use, is ignored. I go for a walk during the day, out in the quiet country;I might as well have confessed to being capable of running the London Marathon or handling bustling Times Square at News Years Eve.
This is how we examine whether or not people can function in society. It gives no indication of anything and just exists because of bootstrap bullshit magic thinking. If you have issues they are ignored because if you can put on a pair of socks at some point during the day, you can hold down a full time job consistently. No matter what the job is, whether its worthwhile or well paid.
This is the life.
