Skip to main content

Did I Just Bottle It?

In preparation for my interview at Salvation Army Employment Plus today I spammed a load of DWP adverts with my CV on Friday. Unfortunately one of them just rang me back, completely catching me off guard. I didn't recognise who they were so of course I sounded entirely unenthusiastic and possibly (though hopefully not) unfriendly! Sadly this is the consequence of having massive anxiety problems. I don't get butterflies in my tummy; I get bloody great vultures. Upon further identification I remember who it was and she says 'the manager's looked at your cv and would really like to meet you. The next round of interviews is tomorrow afternoon'. At this point my belly does somersaults and I bottle it. I don't recall it being a job I want anyway, though of course that's no excuse. 

I don't really remember specifically what the job is at all so I check my email sent messages and it turns out it was another job advertised via recruitment agency (at least according to the email address and the reply which was automated from a recruitment agency). The email address is one of those weird 'aplitrak' ones that seems to obscure the actual sender itself. I don't know how it works but it's: Gateway.Yorkshire.a4lga4it2th@cleverrecruit.aptrack (dotsomething or other). I don't know who 'clever recuirt' are, but the email response mentions CV Knowhow as well as something or someone called 'idibu systems'. It's all a bit cyberpunk! 

Unfortunately I can't track down the job advert since the new Universal Jobmatch system has replaced the old system with its codes as of today. I can't seem to type in the code, which I noted down on my jobsearch, and look it up. So that's handy. All my old jobsearch evidence is now going to be completely useless as it can't be verified (if that's the intent of the Salvation Army, or the DWP, at any point)!

So I'm wondering: have i just turned down a job (whatever it actually was!), or dodged a bullet from some recruitment nonsense fishing for business? It sounded as though there was something genuine there, though at the risk of being rather negative, I can't think my CV would impress anyone! So if there is a job the standard of application must be really bad! I must say I feel a bit bad now. I don't really want to be thought of as a feckless shirking scrounger (or should that be scrounging shirker). I like to think that I'd make the effort as a member of a decent society, but until I can get the right support (and maybe the right society!) I don't really know how I'd cope.  The Clever Recruit webpage seems peculiar for a recruitment agency; it's more like they are selling a service than advertising jobs - and I can't find any link to any jobs they advertise! Not only that but I don't live anywhere near Yorkshire (though it's common for agencies all over the country to advertise, or claim to, vacancies at the other end of the country). 

In fact after some more digging around, the only advert I can now find comes from a completely different site. Here it is (i can't guarantee following this link won't lead to some site attempting to put crap cookies and shit into your system). All it tells me is:

We one of the UK`s biggest sales and marketing companies who experiencing excellent growth and success despite the economic turmoil. 

And that they are looking for:

We have office in London, Leeds, Manchester, Liverpool, Birmingham and Bristol. We are proud to be working with some excellent UK businesses and to support our growth we are looking for talented Customer Service Representatives with a sales background.

I don't have a customer service rep sales background and my JSAg specifically says I don't have to apply for call centre work (which this most likely, based on previous experience with the prhase 'customer service', is) - for what it's worth.

This is the world of online application: a convoluted (almost as much as this post, which was originally an attempt to assuage my guilt) network of links and agencies that leads back to the start: submit your CV online to the CV Knowhow people. No wonder they were so quick to email me back. I find this bizarre, especially as, if this is remotely legitimate, my CV is not the resume of one steeped in customer service and sales. I couldn't attend an appointment tomorrow anyway - and certainly not smartly dressed (I have a smart shirt, that's it). Of course who would believe this sorry tale; this is just a rote example of the world of jobsearching right now. 

And Gateway Yorkshire are based in Leeds. I am not.

EDIT: As I submit this post to the digital ether, I'm looking at the Universal Jobmatch page. I'll have a more in depth look later, but I notice two things: above the list of jobs your search brings there are two phrases:
Jobs you have saved (ok, fine),
Jobs saved by your adviser - waitaminute...! More on this later I fear.
The search facility seems no less shit than the DWP previous site: a 20 mile search radius from my postcode brings up 40 pages of jobs! So that's 40 pages of recruitment agency spam, as well as jobs that are beyond 20 miles (which I can already see on the first page like Caerphilly and Torquay). Wading through this page on a daily basis would probably fulfill the Tories' desired 35 hour jobsearch commitment. What a fucking headache this will be!

EDIT EDIT: It gets worse, if you click on the advert there's a little box at the bottom where you can tell them (presumably your adviser) why you won't be applying for this job. As if you'd sign your own financial death warrant this way!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

I Fucking Hate the Work Programme

That did not go well.
My legs were wobbly to begin with as I closed in on the church that passes for the office of the employment wing of the Salvation Army. My appointment was 3 to half past. I really did feel sick. Pretty early on, when he asked for the forms he gave me last time to fill in, I knew that what was arranged on the letter (a short interview with me bringing my CV and jobsearch) was actually going to be much longer. I also knew that, come half three when I had to leave to catch my bus back ten minutes later, I was going to have problems. 
Unfortunately, though more for me I fear, it never got that far; at 20 past he terminated the interview citing my apparent 'putting up barriers' as the reason not to continue. This was because I refused consent for him to keep my CV. I asked why he needed it and offered, three times, to show it to him (that's all), he said it was to apply for jobs on my behalf. The EEC's need this information.
What's an EEC? Employm…

U.N. and Them

What are my thoughts on this?

It's a humanitarian crisis. Is that a phrase we should only reserve for famines in Africa or force majeure? We seem to have a blind spot to these things when they are on our own doorstep - it couldn't happen here, could it?

Yes.

Seven years of the most brutal selfish and greedy governance, not to mention the least competent, has brought us to the point where the United Nations are telling the Tories they are causing a 'human catastrophe' amongst the disabled and the sick. This is not the first time, and even that doesn't include their comments on the hated and spiteful (not to mention ineffectual) Bedroom Tax.

Do the Tories persist with these policies because they actually believe they are correct or even moral?

Or is it because they have no other way to appease the media attack dogs and/or the braying Shirefolk that delight in persecuting the poor as they do torturing foxes and badgers?

Is it both?

We have a government, in a first wor…

Anybody Out There?

Just so I can be sure this is being read at all and decide whether it's worth continuing, please shout out in the comments. Even if you think I'm talking barmy bollocks, it'd be helpful to know if there are people reading this and not weird bots from phishing sites or Russian hackers or some weird sentient algorithm.

Apologies if you are none of those things, but I'm considering what to do with this blog.

Thanks