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Everyday Conditionality

Well that was a complete waste of time. Unsurprisingly.

It seems I have reached the limits of what our system can offer. The appointment with the Primary Care Liaison offered nothing. According to them I do not meet any criteria for a diagnosis. Well that may or may not be true, but it's the reality that now exists. What seems clear is that the system is only prepared to recognise a certain level of conditionality. Consequently, what might be described as everyday conditionality - the pressure from society and the system that oppresses us - is ignored. 

This has long been a problem that's been ignored: as those pressures increase, the effects become more normalised, especially in lieu of any solution addressing those pressures. Since there's no chance of that happening people are left to sink or swim in a situation where the waterline is constantly rising; that waterline is the normalisation of every day stress anxiety and depression. All those things represent perfectly rational responses to an unfair exploitative and oppressive system.

I tried explaining the reality of this situation to the nurse, but it was for nought. They have nothing to offer, the system doesn't allow it. What we have is triage: people are expected to continue producing in this economy and the little help that does exist is prioritised for those that are really up shit creek. I guess I can be fortunate I don't suffer anything as severe as, for example, schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. But then I'm not interested in competing for the provision the capitalist ruling elite deems an acceptable expense. That provision only exists to get people fit enough to get back on the production line, that's the purpose of CBT (and it's interesting I read that the effectiveness is decreasing, thanks to a recognition of the placebo effect being active).

What is frustrating is the usual lack of administrative care. I asked if the GP had sent over all the details of the discussions we'd had prior to her contacting the Primary Care department. Of course she hadn't (the nurse referred to my GP as a male, which means the only reference she has comes from several years prior when my GP was male). This was frustrating for a couple of reasons: firstly I felt that, haphazardly, the GP was starting to understand my position. She had asked for evidence of the online tests I had done in pursuance of aspergers/neuro diversity, I provided that. None of this information was passed on. 

More importantly it means that I had to try and explain the difficulties and issues I have afresh, which is something I find difficult. Having all this discussed and, presumably, recorded by the GP, and subsequently forwarded would have helped immeasurably. The nurse claimed they liked to have the patient describe their symptoms afresh and 'in their own words', but actually I don't. This is because, when you're in the storm, so to speak, it's hard to think clearly. In other words, I find that my thinking is clouded, because of the issues I talk about, and so appealing to it to explain it is not easy. I only get one shot with the nurse and so if I fail to explain things properly that's my loss. I don't get another chance at this point. They aren't going to think differently without a good reason to do so.

This appointment came about after the Attention Deficit Disorder people responded to my GP's request for an appointment saying that my anxiety needed addressing first. I'm not sure how they have decided (not incorrectly to be fair) that I have anxiety since they have never seen me. I can only assume this conclusion comes from the aspergers diagnosis, which itself was conducted by someone who was dishonest (she said she'd speak to the ADD people then didn't and lied about saying so - I put this to the nurse but of course she wasn't interested in hearing that sort of thing). However anxiety was not brought up in that diagnosis.

So the end result is I have no way forward with any of this. The support structures that society and those with everyday mental health conditionality need do not exist. There is no help for people like this, me, to move forward, so if you don't have people that can help you out, don't know anyone that can help you - you're fucked. I have to accept the diagnostic conclusions that have been presented to me, however haphazard, and so I have to accept I don't have any mental health problems. It's just a shame my head and my heart say otherwise.


  1. Dunno if it's your sort of thing or not, but "Against Therapy" by Jeffrey Mousieff Masson is worth a read. It's not guru based, woo soaked nonsense, it's a serious look at the harm that MH therapies cause and the dubious nature of the whole MO of the MH therapists.

    Unfortunately, the small, caring, therapeutic communities he promotes are unlikely to happen in the UK, since our ability to give a toss about members of our communities has been whittled away since 1989.

    Not much help I know, but the book is worth a read.

    1. Thanks, i'll see if i can check it out. NOt from the library though since i owe them a tenner having forgotten to return some books over christmas!

      Im sure the likes of the Carlton centre would argue they are trying to provide this kind of thing, but I don't know. I'm not sure they are really set up to handle damaged people who have been convinced, thanks to the bullshit in the media and what passes for convention wisdom these days, of all sorts of fucked up stuff. Same goes for Friend (and the person there who espoused islamophobic crap, who probably isn't otherwise a nasty person).

      Can i ask if you have any independent stuff that talks about what it's like at the Carlton centre? The GP isn't going to like it if i make, in her eyes, no effort to do anything. Not that it matters at this point, I guess.

  2. Edit: That should be 1979, not 89.

  3. I was told to go there in 2012. When I rang them, they couldn't believe that the hapless GP had suggested I go there. As I don't have literacy, numeracy, basic skills, life skill problems & can find my own arse with my own hands, they apologised and said they had nothing for me. They did run through the "courses" they offer and they were probably helpful for some poor sod, but not for me.

    Ring them and have a chat. What they offer is on a very basic level, really basic.

    I thought it showed the GP up as not having a clue about MH or the minimum of respect for patients.

    Carlton aren't really set up for MH. It's basic life skills.

    1. No, I see that. I was interested in the Mindfulness.

      Frankly though I'm not sure what to do. I've decided to give Positive Step another go, but even then they are so oversubscribed (presumably) that I don't even get a telephone assessment until next friday.

      Things aren't really going very well at the moment and the lack of support is really showing.

  4. I'm sorry you are going through it Ghosty. There are very many of us who cannot get access to appropriate, effective or respectful therapy. I reached my end point two years ago. The point happens when following their suggestions actually harms the individual needing help.

    Be careful.

    1. Being part of a community would be really helpful, but even that seems impossible. A community of people with these experiences who care and look out for each other.


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