Observer Effect

Received a letter from the DWP a couple of days ago; I have another Work Focused Interview. Another pointless phone call - and fortunately it is via telephone - in the midst of this crisis. Again I have no idea what they think we can discuss and even less of a desire to talk to them. I don't want their help, I don't like the company they keep. 

Last time they recommended that I work with Fedcap Employment. I tried that, it proved to be a complete waste of time. I have no doubt that, were the DWP to ask them (though it has nothing to do with them since I self referred), they would say I wasn't cooperative. Or some such bullshit. It's how these organisations operate, sadly. Since I cut ties with them it of course looks bad on my part. I guess we'll find out how that goes. If they ask me what I've been doing I'll either tell them about it or I won't. Either way isn't going to go well for me. It's ridiculous that this is how it goes, but that's the nature of our relationship. It's toxic. It counts for nothing that I self referred, attended every appointment (admittedly that wasn't hard) and engaged with them, telling them what I wanted to do. But again, it counts for nothing because it falls outside of the perception of what's acceptable. Despite having a growing portfolio of credible work, the notion of wanting to do music is treated as a childish fantasy. Like wanting to race cars or ride the rodeo.

This is how a first world country treats people out of work. There's a whole raft of possibilities. They have money. This government can squander billions on nonsense and dodgy deals to inflate the wealth of the already wealthy. But when it comes to even sparing a few quid to help people without realise a few simple dreams, crickets. There's no guarantee I'm going to make a living off of the music I write. The odds make that unlikely, but there's as good a chance for me as anyone else. The tragedy is the observer effect, after a fashion. The idea that the outcome is affected by the observation. In this case, if the DWP/state does nothing to help when, essentially, it could, then it's just causing the outcome of failure. Consequently that's used as a stick to beat the subject, often leading to curtailment of the already meagre support they do offer. It's this paucity of imagination on the part of the state that bothers me the most. I'm not doing nothing, I could just use some real support. Help promoting what I'm doing, giving it a platform, etc. A few quid for better gear wouldn't go amiss but it's not vital. After all we live in a world where tech gets replaced and discarded all the time. The government, for instance, drags its heels to provide locked down kids with laptops so they can participate in distanced learning, when there are thousands of computers that get recycled or just thrown out by offices and business nationwide after being upgraded. Using those solves not just the problem of provision, but of dealing with waste. How backward we are.

Went into Bristol earlier. Needed some stuff. The bus was rammed on the way in. People sat with masks around their chins chatting. People constantly pulling them down to do so. They seem to think it's ok as long as you pay lip service to the notion of wearing a mask, but not actually wearing one. It's hopeless. I feel like I'm the only sane one in the room, so to speak, and I want to tell these people off. That would end up with me getting laughed at or worse. That's what gaslighting feels like and this government has had a year to normalise the necessary job of wearing a mask.

The city was very busy. It felt more like a traditional Saturday afternoon. Honestly they should have waited until after the school holidays before opening everything up. People everywhere. I thought it would be nice to go out, into town, for the first time this year. But instead it was exhausting. I got what I needed and came home. I don't want to be doing that on a regular basis. I will not be remotely surprised if this leads to a rise in the virus.

Week of Madness

And as the weather turns from crap to slightly less crap we enter a week of insanity. Just when you think this sick society cannot get any worse we have a week until the funeral for an old establishment racist during which the gaslighting has reached new heights. Meanwhile our government, which now has to rank among the most corrupt in the developed world, is embroiled in another scandal. The former PM, Cameron the pigfucker, has been caught with a scheme that fiddles the pensions of nurses. Or something. I don't even pretend to understand it. It's like looking directly at the sun; the sheer weight of their unending unapologetic greed. It's not even as if he needs the money. The irony is that, if it were someone who did, like Arthur Fowler, they'd have no chance. Cameron on the other hand will receive, at best, a slight telling off. Once again, the only real crime for these scum is in getting caught. We, the plebs, aren't meant to know about their indiscretions.

Meanwhile Northern Ireland burns. A tinderbox of austerity incompetence and sectarianism. The Tories have had no interest in keeping things under control. No interest in the well being of the people over there. Endless austerity and anti social policies threaten to violently tear the lid off the peace process. A hard won effort they treat with nothing short of contempt. It certianly won't impress the skeleton in chief at the Whitehouse.

Still none of this matters to the great British public. Easily swayed by shop windows they will flock back like desperate starved magpies spending like there's no tomorrow. Just as the system wants. Dnce to its toxic tune. Spend what you have, borrow for what you don't. That will be the message. Capitalism is nothing if not myopic. If you're in debt by Christmas, who cares - at least you'll be alive. Unless you aren't because Covid hasn't gone away yet,. How quickly we forget.

An Old Man Died

An old man dies of natural causes.

This isn't news.

He's a member of an unjustifiable institution upon whose existence every social crime rests. It's unearned privilege props up institutional prejudice and social division. What else can excuse the abhorrent notion of chasing animals through streets on horses, terrifying local communities, trespassing on land, assaulting opposition, and smearing the blood of those animals, having torn them apart, on their faces. That's what orcs in Mordor do ffs.

No, because of the perceived virtue of this man's blood we have to put the nation on hold while many of it's occupants, including those struggling to get by, twist themselves up in emotional knots. This man grieved no one jot when your loved ones died. Yet, despite never having known this guy, we are expected to abase ourselves, further demonstrating our pitiful place in this sick society to our so called betters.

Wall to wall coverage of the very ordinary death of a very old human replaces reason. A good day to bury bad news, and it certainly will.

Are we that infantile as a species, still? Why on earth do we submit this: it must be out of a sense of reassurance. The same thing that religion provides. A framework of irrational certainty in a vast universe where things happen we don't understand endlessly threatening the perceived order. Philip was neither a good nor evil man, like most people he was a product of his society. A product of the institution. Of course he said (plenty or) racist things. That's what these ignorant overstuffed inbred caricatures do. That's why it needs to stop. I've no desire to gloat over a man's passing, but I'm sure as shit not going to lionise him in a vast telethonic eulogy; a contest of grief that makes the state enforced lamentations of the Kim Jon dictator dynasty seem reasonable. By all means feel sad if, for some reason, you feel the monarchy validates part of your existence, but please examine why that is. Philip and the rest of them, with his wife soon to follow I'm sure, are not public servants, they do not engage in any real 'duty'. It's a lifestyle of unimagined wealth and if that means having to talk to some annoying colonial or shake hands with a nativeperson then oh dear.

The best way to mourn the passing of a 99 year old who lived with none of the cares for existential security you or I have is to consign this ridiculous anachronism to the permanent dustbin of history. Let it remain in a museum for the children of tomorrow to point at with all the wisdom we can give them. 

Bugged

Today I'm feeling ill. Achy. I don't think it's covid. Or if it is don't worry, we're separated by pixels. But these aren't covid symptoms. I had this a few months ago, and again at the start of last year. I don't really understand how, while wearing masks, social distancing, and washing hands at the door of each shop, I still get a bug. I guess it just goes to show how easy it is to pick these things up - and that would include Covid.

In fact I'm feeling incredibly miserable. So far throughout this pandemic I have endured. I have not lost my shit nor my mind, but I'd be lying if I said it hadn't taken a toll. I suspect I'm not alone. In fact I think this psychic cost is going to be apparent in the coming months, particularly if we all experience another lockdown. The government has many chickens that are yet to return to roost. They have failed in their duty of care. So much more even on a mundane level they could have done, but didn't. Now I'm feeling a distinct lack of possibilities and opportunities at this time. I hope this passes with whatever malady I'm experiencing, but there is a lingering and gnawing emptiness and it scares me.

This situation isn't going to change much over the coming months, though perhaps I'll be wrong. The virus is here. All it needs is breathing room. As things are flung open by a government caring only about the profit they risk giving the virus oxygen. They will never understand and, should cases start rising again, they will respond slowly and disastrously. The only approach is to go for zero covd with proper test and trace systems and the funding for self isolation because if we have to live with this virus, people are going to be needing the care and support this government doesn't have a clue about and isn't interested in providing. 

There is no moving forward without addressing the toll all this has taken, but the Tories have long since stopped caring about mental health support. Look around, where is it? Nothing here. Services got cut. My own recent experience with Fedcap employment, who claim to offer mental health support, ended in dismal failure. I have still yet to hear back from them after asking them to call it quits. I didn't want to have to do that, but what choice is left if you can't even communicate? Again, this is a company that claims to offer mental health support. We are isolated and alone, we are not waving but drowning

I Know What You Covid This Summer

The fundamental flaw of the government's 'response' to covid is simply ignoring the need to support people. This will ever be their undoing. It's ironic that Mogg can tweet how he thinks it's not cricket for firms to practice 'fire and rehire' policies. But he won't vote to support people, or to not starve children. Is he cynical or stupid? More likely it is the ignorance born of privilege, patriotism, and class propaganda. A massive blind spot that isn't explained away through moral failing or simple wealth. It is why we must dismantle the class system, before it kills (more of) us.

There is an article in the Guardian reporting on modelling done by the Sage scientists. They say that imminent changes, the opening of shops and, sigh, gyms (zoos and museums offend me less), are highly unlikely to cause a problem. However they do say that, come summer, with the totality of changes planned we will see a significant and serious third wave. Of course this is speculative. The tragedy of the anti lockdown thinking is that it dismisses the only tool we have in a novel pandemic: modelling. We can't know how a novel virus will affect the population without letting it run rampant, and we can't do that. It's disingenuous and stupid. But the reality is this is what happened last year; in the end too much was flung open while the virus was still present. It's likely to be present, somewhere somehow, come the Summer. They aren't terribly optimistic about the efficacy of herd immunity, the effect of nationwide mass vaccination. This all boils down to my first point: our government is simply unwilling to do what is necessary to address this crisis.

Still at least the weather will be nice....hopefully. Right now it's April and freezing cold. I knew it would be. We aren't so lucky as to have two nice Spring seasons consecutively. Besides we've fucked the environment and so these weather patterns, polar air coming further south, will be the norm. Well done us.

Finally, has there been a day gone by, since he flounced out like a child, where Piers fucking Morgan has not been milking it publicly? Now he's been interviewed by, sigh, Tucker Carlson. The fascist's friend. No doubt warmly received to further this tired trope about cancel culture. This whole thing is just disgusting. As if Morgan is the victim when he chose to walk out after a colleague, a person of colour, called him out on his bullshit. They don't like it up 'em! Alex wasn't rude to him, didn't 'disrespect' him, though Morgan isn't the least deserving of any, but now he's the bad guy? That's racism, rigt there.

Long Drop

The weather threatens winter again. Why am I not surprised? We had a pleasant, in terms of weather, April last year, could it really be so again? Next week is set to be wind chilltastic. Freezing time again. Honestly, it's exhausting. 

A week later the shops will be opening up again. Roused from their slumber by the desperate state of capitalism. We have done well to reduce the cases of covid, but it's always going to be with us. The question is how much can we open before a new wave begins. If it does, how long before the government takes action? A subsequent wave, like the others, will likely take on an impetus of its own before those idiots do what's necessary. But the time they do it they'll be forced to take the action they procrastinated on anyway. It's lose lose.

What does this retail resurgence mean for society, gong forward? I fully expect the shops to be rammed when things open again. People are foolish, they will vomit forth demanding to be able to go anywhere and do anything. We know that if you give people a little, they will seek to take as much as they can, pushing the boundary of what is safe.

My concern is the lack of support going forward. People will be expected to work, expected to shop, and expected to behave as normal. As if an entire year of death and disaster hadn't happened. By all means keep washing your hands and wearing your mask, but don't expect any help if transitioning back to what they deem as normal will be made easier. Help, specifically of the financial kind, will be withdrawn as quickly as possible. Best grab hold of those bootstraps folks, it's going to be a long drop.

Solidarity with those protesting today. However....don't be a dick. Smashing yoru way into the cop shop isn't going to achieve anything. You'll likely have the cops harass you for the rest of your life in exchange for, well what exactly? Protest has to be smart, it has to be productive. I don't care if that means torching vans - or not, as the case may be - I care that the Tories are oppressing us and that we have to stop it.

Meanwhile the Racist Government Remains Racist

Look, I'll be glad when this madness ends, but this is going to require a healthy transition. Something born of this nightmare has been born inside my subconscious. Even though I've not had it as bad as many (too many) others the pandemic - or rather our society's failed reaction to it - has had an effect. It isn't about the virus as much as it's about how our state and our systems have abandoned us. Even though I am not at the front of the queue, so to speak, and shouldn't be, it'd be wrong to say I could have used some help. But not even the DWP's services are up to snuff. That's not surprising really. There's so much the government could have done for so many of us. Even just little things that would have made all the difference, but they couldn't even pay the full wages of people already getting the lowest wage (and lower). What does that say about the millionaires that have have taken control of our lives and our resources. Remember, they are meant to be servants. Not custodians or keepers; it's not their money after all.

Money they have spent to produce a report intended solely to reassure their new friends (chumps?) in the Red Wall. Don't worry, says our paid advisers, we aren't racist, and therefore neither are you. Not like that nasty Jeremy Corbyn - and by extension everyone else that's on the left! The authors of this questionable bullshit are already prejudiced against the notion of institutional racism. But you can't disagree with them because their BAME, but you can't use BAME because it's bad or something. By the way, don't play identity politics!

The gaslighting never, fucking, ends. This is so obviously a whitewash (pun...intended?). A complete dismissal of the lived experience of people of colour, particularly working class people of colour. Since the Tories reject any kind of class based analysis - while using it to wage class war - they can easily dismiss this. All suitably reinforced by a willing press, all too eager to seize on this bullshit. Of course had the outcome been different (which never would have happened) the papers would have cried foul and said it was all the work of commies, or something. It's just endless exhausting gaslighting.