Skip to main content


Pop quiz: what do the following people have in common? Toby Young, with Shadow Employment Minister Stephen Timms, 7/7 survivor and employment expert Dan Biddle, KFC CEO Martin Shuker, Tesco personnel director Judith Nelson and Michelle Dewberry (from the Apprentice years ago, before getting knocked up by a fellow Apprentice candidate and then resigning).

The answer is 'Sunemployment'.

I had never heard of this, which you might find a bit odd considering they were in town the day before I went to sign on and noone had ever mentioned this to me at the JC, nor was there any literature or advertising at the time. As I don't read the Sun I had, fortunately, never heard of this...this Sunemployment.
Yes, it seems in a scheme so loaded with populist bullshit I fear it might destabilise reality, the Sun has its own scheme to get Britain working. Well thank god for that. Phew, we can all rest assured that Britain's best loved soft porn and football hooligan peddling shitrag will find long term sustained careers for the millions out of work, soon to be out work, sick-but-not-sick-enough-to-not-work, and everyone that isn't a white hard working heterotaxpayer. For fuck's sake, Toby Young? A right wing tory toff gobshite. An opposition minister - opposition! - desperate to cash in on the opportunity (which is the only explanation for an opposition employment minister to be present, says it all really), a guy that was injured in the 7/7 bombings?!? Madam from the Apprentice and people from Tesco and KFC! There are more 'celebrities' than actual employers, how does that make sense? What on earth do the 7/7 bombings have to do with this? No doubt so this gentleman can espouse a 'can do' attitude, having survived such an awful event. Well that's all fine and good, but it's just irrelevant. This is just the Sun stirring the shit. Mr Biddle may also be an employment expert, but would they have picked him if not for 7/7? After all there are plenty of employment experts local anyway, surely? No, this is just to say there are no barriers to work, certainly compared to suffering injury from terrorist bombings (something I do not take pleasure in and am glad he has survived and is happy). 

Well, apart from a lack of jobs.

This reminds me of that godawful BBC youth employment fair that was on roughly a year ago, around the time of the riots, or just before. It was the same trick. But does it achieve anything? Not according to the (boo hiss!) SWP. 

"Starting on Monday in Newcastle, we’ll be visiting five cities around the UK with top employers including O2, Whitbread, Sainsbury’s, Barclays, Sky, Nissan, British Gas and BT — all eager to hire."

Right, but you didn't bother to tell the Jobcentre (despite Grayling being on deck at the finale) nor Work Programme providers who might have informed their 'custoimers'. Will you be paying travel expenses for prospective employees to attend this seminar and soak up the wisdom of people like Toby Young, Jeremy Kyle and Michelle Dewberry, and whatever talking heads they can cull from The Apprentice You're Fired? If there are so many jobs, why weren't these advertised before hand? Why aren't they, for example, stored in the DWP's own jobsearch website? Are they even full time jobs? Are they even jobs? No mention of Sunemployment (god that's a depressing word) on the KFC site. I just had a look at that site and I can't tell if they have any vacancies or not as it's not clear. It seems to suggest there are vacancies for 'team members' (counter staff, fun), but no mention of hours, location, wage or anything. On the other hand Tesco are not listing anything (including Sunemployment) on their page: I counted 16 local vacancies, none of which were suitable and the majority were night shift positions in Cardiff (not Bristol). I suspect we are talking 'work experience' here. I also suspect this is yet more free publicity for big business who can be seen to be positive employers by turning up and offering the pitiful masses a few scraps.

"Last year hundreds found work — this year it could be YOUR turn."

Hundreds? Doesn't that just say it all? And if your ticket last year wasn't the golden one, there's always next year...I'm sure Jeremy Kyle won't turn down the opportunity to tell you what a scumbag you are, and if not you can always talk to Graham behind the scenes.
"Sorry no jobs match your criteria, please search again."


Popular posts from this blog

I Fucking Hate the Work Programme

That did not go well.
My legs were wobbly to begin with as I closed in on the church that passes for the office of the employment wing of the Salvation Army. My appointment was 3 to half past. I really did feel sick. Pretty early on, when he asked for the forms he gave me last time to fill in, I knew that what was arranged on the letter (a short interview with me bringing my CV and jobsearch) was actually going to be much longer. I also knew that, come half three when I had to leave to catch my bus back ten minutes later, I was going to have problems. 
Unfortunately, though more for me I fear, it never got that far; at 20 past he terminated the interview citing my apparent 'putting up barriers' as the reason not to continue. This was because I refused consent for him to keep my CV. I asked why he needed it and offered, three times, to show it to him (that's all), he said it was to apply for jobs on my behalf. The EEC's need this information.
What's an EEC? Employm…

U.N. and Them

What are my thoughts on this?

It's a humanitarian crisis. Is that a phrase we should only reserve for famines in Africa or force majeure? We seem to have a blind spot to these things when they are on our own doorstep - it couldn't happen here, could it?


Seven years of the most brutal selfish and greedy governance, not to mention the least competent, has brought us to the point where the United Nations are telling the Tories they are causing a 'human catastrophe' amongst the disabled and the sick. This is not the first time, and even that doesn't include their comments on the hated and spiteful (not to mention ineffectual) Bedroom Tax.

Do the Tories persist with these policies because they actually believe they are correct or even moral?

Or is it because they have no other way to appease the media attack dogs and/or the braying Shirefolk that delight in persecuting the poor as they do torturing foxes and badgers?

Is it both?

We have a government, in a first wor…

Into the Mirror

So tomorrow morning is my WCA. Needless to say I am not looking forward to it, and that would be an understatement. It's currently sitting in my mind, refusing to leave, cooking up a stultifying negativity. That's the thing with depression; it's a presence that, even if you manage to distract yourself for a time, it returns with hammer-like vengeance. That feeling alone is enough to make the problem of depression the horrible reality it is. Sucker punched by your own thoughts.

Logically - as if we live in a logical society - I should pass. My situation is unchanged from last year. However that is exactly why I won't pass. You might think it reasonable to simply report that fact, but the simplicity of doing so, the ease of process, is exactly why you can't. Instead I will be seen, likely by someone different, and asked the same questions; some of which will not be relevant but part of the deceptive nature of the process. For example, being asked 'how did you get…