Skip to main content

On It Goes

I've been feeling really anxious these last few weeks. My sleep is troubled; I wake up around 3-4am and can't get back to sleep for hours. When I do finally wake (around 7-8am - I've never been a late sleeper) I'm 'hanging', as the cool kids might say. 

On the plus side, late night radio is actually quite interesting; the world service is more interesting than regular stuffy old Hobbiton-centric Radio 4 during the day.

I'm on edge all the time. It's not good. Unfortunately there's no help or support at all locally. Chasing up Positive Step hasn't done much good, though I did get a letter from them saying they think I have severe anxiety/depression. Whether their partners ATOS will take any notice...well that's another question entirely. Either they do or they don't.

Speaking of ATOS I've yet to hear when my appointment will be (it could well be coming through the letterbox today, tomorrow, or...). Waiting is not my strong suit, and I'm dreading having to wait for what I'm sure will be longer than necessary in their public waiting room come appointment time. It's just a constant exercise in stress.

The Work Programme has been no help as usual. I contacted my new adviser a couple of weeks back to ask if they could put something in writing regarding the WCA regarding our phone call a month earlier. During that call I was told two things (I've mentioned before): they could offer much more help if I was on ESA, and that, in her opinion, I should be on ESA. So I asked her to put that in writing. Typically this met with a small  measure of resistance as they seem to be very good at revising past conversations. She did agree to do this, but what I eventually received was typically farcical: just a printout of one page from Chapter 2 of the Work Programme Provider Guidance wherein it simply says people on JSA can be mandated to apply for jobs, people on ESA can't (well sort of). Not even signed. So no help there, unsurprisingly. Just another example of the utter uselessness of this whole affair. She's supposed to call me this Thursday (Valentine's Day - lucky me eh!), do I waste my time getting antagonistic about this? I don't know if I have the energy.

There are two fundamental problems I have with the Work Programme (two of many I should point out, as it is utterly and intrinsically useless):
Firstly, as I mentioned above, they are very good at revising what they say in subsequent meetings or conversations. Not only do staff cover each others' arses and make excuses - which I can understand even if I don't agree - but they continually wrongfoot me when they pretend that what I claim they said wasn't quite what they thought they said. They do this all the time; it's like having the rug pulled and rearranged under your feet all the time. For someone with learning difficulties it's a real pain.
Secondly, they will ask you what you want: what you are interested in (writing, for example). But what happens then is that you are told to find out and do it all yourself. They pretend to take an interest, but then do absolutely nothing except criticise. You are then stymied and left to fall without a parachute - and by fall I mean head toward a 'compliance doubt'. They set you up to fail. What you expect to be on offer - what you have been told to expect - does not materialise. In fact it was never there to begin with and your expectations are questioned to the point where, again, you being to doubt yourself. 

It can't be long now before this all implodes. Either that or I will.


  1. I'm sorry you are still not getting any support whilst on the WP; it seems the move from JSA to ESA has made little real difference. I wish I had some expert advice to give, but I know little of the intricacies of the system - all I can say is hang in there. :)

    1. Thanks, but it's ok because we're all in it together!

      Sadly that's actually true, unless you'r Stephen Hester in which case the only thing you're in, thanks to Osbourne, is clover. To the tune of 800k!

      I think there's going to be a lot of strife before this is done. Hopefully the PCS will call a strike before UC destroys us all.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I Fucking Hate the Work Programme

That did not go well.
My legs were wobbly to begin with as I closed in on the church that passes for the office of the employment wing of the Salvation Army. My appointment was 3 to half past. I really did feel sick. Pretty early on, when he asked for the forms he gave me last time to fill in, I knew that what was arranged on the letter (a short interview with me bringing my CV and jobsearch) was actually going to be much longer. I also knew that, come half three when I had to leave to catch my bus back ten minutes later, I was going to have problems. 
Unfortunately, though more for me I fear, it never got that far; at 20 past he terminated the interview citing my apparent 'putting up barriers' as the reason not to continue. This was because I refused consent for him to keep my CV. I asked why he needed it and offered, three times, to show it to him (that's all), he said it was to apply for jobs on my behalf. The EEC's need this information.
What's an EEC? Employm…

I Hate James Bartholomew

Know the Tory mindset: according to these creatures welfare breeds dependency. Meanwhile they do not want to set a minimum wage, they do not want to create legislation to protect the un - and under - employed from the predations of the system they benefit from. That word is chosen deliberately, because they like benefits for themselves - the ability to sack whom they like, when they like and how they like. In this UKIP are the same. This is the febrile heart of the right wing.
Yesterday on 5 Live's laughable morning phone in - bigots drink for free - another right wing excuse for a human, James Bartholomew, revealed another aspect of their nasty prejudice and staggering ignorance. Not surprisingly this vile creature was once a banker. He writes (if one can call it that) for the Telegraph and though I don't know the content of his ballot paper, I dare say I can guess. He props up every tory myth about the unemployed and welfare with dull witted aplomb.
He believes people have …

Magical Thinking

Well that's that for pursuing a diagnosis for Aspergers or anything remotely similar.

I contacted the Patient Advisory Liaison Service (PALS) to try and sort this out after being lied to by the clinician regarding referring me to the ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) people. That never happened and she continues to deny saying she would. Of course I cannot prove this and so the patient-doctor dynamic kicks in: I'm the lowly patient, she's the expert doctor, her reputation versus mine and so who wins?

I could make a complaint, but what would be the point. I might get a nice letter in a few months time saying sorry in a mealy mouthed way, but it doesn't get me any closer to what I need. That being a diagnosis, a formal, written and recorded, recognition of the issues I deal with. Lacking that, dealing with the systems in society, chiefly the DWP, becomes more difficult. Unfortunately the medical profession doesn't seem to care about that.

We have a society fuelled by …