Anybody Out There?

Just so I can be sure this is being read at all and decide whether it's worth continuing, please shout out in the comments. Even if you think I'm talking barmy bollocks, it'd be helpful to know if there are people reading this and not weird bots from phishing sites or Russian hackers or some weird sentient algorithm.

Apologies if you are none of those things, but I'm considering what to do with this blog.

Thanks

Our Crisis

So that's it; six months of waiting for an appointment, being seen, and receiving absolutely nothing. It was summed up in a phone call. With a voice message I am discharged from the frontline mental health service that has offered nothing in all that time. They tell me they have nothing to offer. I say they haven't even tried.

I was on the verge of tears when I made contact in January. The thought of having to wait 8 weeks to be even put on the list was unbearable. Now it's July and what is there to show for it? All they have done is send me questionnaires asking me my mood and deciding their level of interaction on the basis of a number. Doesn't that just say it all? That a person's mental and emotional well being can be reduced to a number and a number is the difference between what they perceive as well or not.

This is what we have come to. Despite a list of promises as long as Jacob's ladder, there is nothing for people like me. There is no support, just an opportunity for private enterprises, clad in a pretence of caring, to offer the latest in a long line of minor self-driven support, all of which is but a sop. At best it is a sticking plaster over the reality of the lives we lead. It doesn't and cannot address the alienation exploitation and isolation caused in a society dependent on the capitalist mode of production. Where workers are subject to all of these as a necessity for their bosses to survive. Our leaders promise, but they do not deliver.

Instead we are subject to victim blaming or gaslighting: I know full well that, if I go back to my GP it will be tacitly (at least) assumed that the failure of my interaction thus far will be on my part. It will be because I didn't engage, an easy excuse. My GP will imply this because that is the relationship that exists in our hierarchical authoritarian society: she is the authority, a doctor trained and professional, and I'm the patient and thus necessarily compromised and emotional. She may not even believe that is what is happening, but i've seen it so many times. In so doing this will be to deny me the power in the situation, to suggest my story is invalid, that perhaps I'm "making it up" - that is gaslighting.

In this situation how are people to be helped? Where are they to go? The only support seems to be a room in a building where people like me can spend a couple of hours doing...not much, it seems. But it keeps us off the streets - out of sight, out of mind. This is simply not good enough, it is the precise opposite of what is needed: a caring equal society devoid of division where people are cared for because they are people. Instead we have people who either can't help because they are too busy themselves trying to survive, or won't help because it's not profitable.

And that is before considering services such as I have just mentioned are being cut and cut. They aren't even really services as a result, no matter the best intentions of those in charge. Instead it just becomes a barn for us mentally ill 'cattle', herded together without thought or plan and left to our own devices.

The crisis of mental health is the greatest symptom of our age. It is the greatest cause of ill health according to the World Health Organisation. It has always been the runt among the family of problems that affect the health of a society, austerity merely gives that attitude more strength. It is an attitude born precisely of the moral assumptions capitalism inspires: the strive to be a winner and the fear of failure. This dangerous dichotomy has become even more acute in this age of unnecessary austerity where genuine ill health is to be suspected and people to be assumed of lying. It's ok for business to play the system, to avoid taxes and do what they can because that's 'striving', but for someone desperate to avoid oblivion, that's swinging the lead.

So we are subject to scrutiny at the hands of privateers who are not obliged to have any training. We are set into precisely the same kind of divisive relationships as that with my GP. Divisive relationships that shouldn't exist but only do so because of the scarcity politics necessary to capitalism's survival. We cannot support people because it's a burden, but to whom? The rising cost of welfare doesn't seem to have affected the lives of the already successful. The rich have become richer because of austerity, and I cannot think of a single soul who's success has been affected by the existence of DLA, ESA, Incapacity Benefit, JSA, or any other benefit.

We are left with a black hole in our society that cannot be filled by anything capitalism can divide. Our politicians are incapable of addressing these issues. Alienation exploitation and isolation cannot be cured by pills, being sectioned, or victim blamed, but they must be addressed.

Stepping Off

So that's that.

After 6 months, my 'treatment' at the hands of the appalling Positive Step ends with a phone call (missed, thanks to our shitty network coverage). All I have to show for it is a message that amounts to thanks very much, goodbye.

The guy apparently had a pow wow with my GP wherein they both agreed they had nothing to offer and nowhere to offer it. Sure they can agree that it would be great if someone else could offer help - such as signing off on a bus pass - but neither of them will actually do it themselves because...reasons.

That's that. Cut loose.

I've spent more time waiting for appointments than actually in them.

Not once have I been offered any form of scheme, treatment, method or approach. Not a single thing - though I'm sure they would take great umbrage at that, because that's all these people seem to be good for. Even the talk of social phobia was scotched. This was because I was attending a very casual 7 week creative writing course at the Carlton Centre. The assumption being that because I did so, never mind that I found it difficult and considered not bothering to continue on mutliple occassions, then that isn't an issue or a reason at all in any way shape or form. This is lazy thinking, but it's easy for these 'wellness advisors' and their scandalous employers.

Don't forget Positive Step will be getting funding for this, either from the government or from the EU (or both). They aren't doing this for free. In return, I see nothing from that. I have to pay to attend their courses/sessions unless it's over the phone.

And what does that money buy? No treatment or service of any kind.

But the worst part of it is that none of these people will stand up for you. They agreed, for example, that a bus pass would be really helpful. But when it comes to putting 'their' money where their mouths are...notsomuch.

Again the individual is left to his own devices, abandoned by the system once more. Fortunately it's summer and so the weather is pleasant. Come the winter, this will be a different story. But I doubt there will be anything in place by then, and I doubt the GP will take my side. Given how authority works, it will be assumed that their inability to help me was largely down to my own intransigence. In fact I woudln't be at all surprised if that was the meat of the discussion between 'wellness advisor' and GP. Don't forget that 'Wellness Advisor' doesn't even work for Positive Step - he was subcontracted. Positive Step couldn't even be bothered to do the job themselves - and you're paying for that.

Stepping Out part 8

I was supposed to have an appointment last week. The 'wellness advisor', who has yet to advise me of anything wellness-inducing, was supposed to be talking to my GP about my need for an Aspergers diagnosis, or similar. Of course that didn't happen. I rang up Positive Step and was told it was instead scheduled for tomorrow.

More gaslighting; that is not what was arranged. They will swear blind that was the original arrangement so there's no point discussing it.

That's two weeks without any contact or appointment. At this point I'm about ready to make a formal complaint - if I thought doing so would make any difference. Unfortunately there is no alternative; there are no other services. No one is listening.

In six months I have received no support, no help, nothing. This cannot go on.

Stepping Out part 7

After an unexplained two week absence my latest appointment lasted all of about five minutes. He hadn't had the opportunity to speak to my GP, not sure how or why but there you go. This is apparently going to happen next week after which, at some random time, he will contact me. This will be a waste of time since nothing will come of this. Why, because he is the person who's supposed to be helping me according to the service the GP referred me to.

An absolutely spot on example of this came when he finished by telling me he had an idea of how I could obtain a bus pass. Remember, this is something he agreed I should have access to (important point). He had discovered another patient, with similar issues, had been referred to another social enterprise called Alliance Housing. I don't know much about them, but they do much the same thing as he does and the rest of these groups.

You might think, ok fair enough; give them a call. That's fine and I did (six week waiting list for an assessment notwithstanding). But the real issue is this: if he supports the idea of me having a bus pass, why can't he or his organisation sign off on one? I have no idea if Alliance Housing have the authority to do this. I'm sceptical since the application form asks specifically about being a patient of the actual mental health service, not just any group. Sure it's worth a try, but I doubt you can just talk to Alliance and ask for them to do this, obviously you'd have to be assessed and then develop a relationship for them to feel ok about doing this. It still doesn't address the question, and neither did he: why can't he sign off on this? Why am I being fobbed off like this? His reason was that "it wouldn't be right" because their service is short term only.

No it makes no sense to me either. Alliance Housing aren't going to be offering lifelong support, no one is.

Capitalism's Inferno

Some people might think it poor taste to 'politicise' or make political 'capital' out of a tragedy.

Those people are wrong.

They are also usually the sort that defends the system that, demonstrably, leads to the deaths of innocent working class people lashed up in firetraps such as we have seen.

Make no mistake this is political. It always was and, if things inexplicably don't change, they always will. Not since the miners strike - and perhaps not even that - will you see such a verdant example of how not only capitalism fails but communism works.

It is capitalism and nothing else that has created the conditions wherein ordinary human beings, citizens of this mean malfeasant land.

The drive for profit encourages the kind of corner cutting that leads to sub standard workmanship performed on the very homes people are forced - and make no mistake no one chooses to live in high rise deathtraps - to live in.

The capitalist class structure allows those who cut costs to justify it on the basis of traducing the identities of those their decisions will affect. It's only the poor after all, and they are ten a penny.

As for the political aspect (as if what I've just said isn't enough), we have, at the very least, the Tories to thank for this. That isn't to let New Labour off the hook as they had 13 years to address the larger issue here and were happy to treat the working class no less contemptibly, but they aren't in power. The Tories are and have been for 7 years. They have put in place policies that have affected the services that the working class now are forced to rely on (because they do not have the means to supply them directly, even though they could) to help them. Crisis centres have come into being from facilities that were shut, the emergency services, even though they responded quickly, are being cut to the bone. Grenfell is in the richest borough in the country run by a Tory council, how dare anyone question the need to politicise this.

Not only that but there are questions to be asked of those Tory scumbags (tautological, I know) who repeatedly block any and all efforts to make housing safe never mind habitable. It was Gavin Barswell, a housing minister who recently lost his seat now invited back into umber ten by Theresa May, who sat on a report dealing with exactly the issue at hand. The community in that tower repeatedly entreated the authorities to address their concerns and were bullied as a result. That is class war right there, by the way.

Then there are ghouls such as the appalling inhuman cunt, Philip Davies, inexplicably voted in by the capitalist class of Shipley (who no doubt profit from his position, which says it all really). A serial proponent of the filibuster, he has form shutting down discussion. This tells you all you need to know about the modern Tory: he's so arrogant that he's unwilling to even discuss an issue that he has to shut it down completely.

No doubt during the election you will have been told how important it is to vote. That's great. But the reality is that the Tories don't believe that, when you have venal scum like Davies abusing the mechanics of legislature to shut down the discourse without allowing for even others to talk never mind a vote.

And he did this on the very topic of law making that would compel landlords (such as the class he represents) to make housing fit for habitation. An example of which would be to ensure that the properties used in building a high rise aren't likely to turn a home for families into a hellscape.

He, like the rest of his part, like the rest of those corporate interests, like the entire capitalist landlord class, are culpable. They ALL have blood on their hands.

Homes are for a community, not for profit.

David Lammy, Labour MP, talks about a charge of corporate manslaughter. That doesn't go far enough and, while I agree there should be accountability (of the swinging from the rope kind). But that cannot be allowed to stop at the door of whatever contractor is hung out to dry by the furtive masters of the capitalist class. It must encompass the entirety of the British capitalist system - and that can be an example tot he rest of the world. No pasaran.

Stepping Out 6

Didn't post after last week, which was stupid, as now I have to remember why I wasn't impressed afterwards.

I think it was because in so many ways this kind of mental health support feels like gaslighting. Previously he had asserted strongly I have social phobia, getting me to fill in a qustionaire. Next thing he's telling me that's not the case in such a way that I feel I've had my time wasted. I don't think that I don't have a degree of it either, but because I manage to do a thing, such as go to an increasingly racist* support place (1in4, weston super mare), therefore all the inner struggle involved in achieving that counts for nothing. That isn't helpful at all.

So today's appointment isn't happening. In fact neither is next week's - they tell me this quite matter of factly. It's as if the support isn't needed, and this is just a minor inconvenience. Oh there's nothing in the diary for next week so no appointment. It's all very clerical and not at all helpful. At least I don't have to fuss about with those stupid questionnaires for another two weeks.

To be completely honest, where is the support? I mean, the guy I talk to seems like a nice guy; I have no personal beef with him, but he hasn't actually offered any mechanism or scheme of a supportive nature at all. Other than talk to the people I've already talked to (the ASD team, for instance) he's done nothing, and talking to those people has largely been a waste of time: what is the point of talking to the liars at the Asperger service if you aren't going to accept me telling you they lied? That's what I mean by gaslighting; he cannot accept my side of the story, and why not? Professional pride? How does that help me?

Quite honestly the whole thing is pointless. He doesn't even work for Positive Step, the people who have imposed themselves into the support structure available to patients. They have subcontracted out to a different social enterprise (they all have Step in the name and seem to be primarily a housing association or something). Why? Does PS not have enough skilled staff to actually do the job? Isn't it fundamentally dishonest to compel doctors to refer patients to them and then not actually provide patients with care or support? This is the new normal. An example as to why this is an issue is that, if I could be seen by 'proper' support services (ie the NHS), then I could get them to sign off on a bus pass that would make it a lot easier to get around - which is something my 'wellness advisor' agrees with. Last he said he was going to ask my GP about referring me to such people, something I've already done myself weeks ago but nothing seems to have come of it.

These services, ostensibly intended to support people, are in the way of doing just that.

*Disappointingly last week the few people there started talking about 'foreigners' in the usual Daily Mail way. I get that people have issues with immigration, but to fall for the divide and rule rhetoric of the right wing media is to blame the symptom not the cause. They are not our enemy, we should be allying with them to smash the capitalists who's policies set us against each other in competition for what we are told, but aren't, scant resources.