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Stepping Out 6

Didn't post after last week, which was stupid, as now I have to remember why I wasn't impressed afterwards.

I think it was because in so many ways this kind of mental health support feels like gaslighting. Previously he had asserted strongly I have social phobia, getting me to fill in a qustionaire. Next thing he's telling me that's not the case in such a way that I feel I've had my time wasted. I don't think that I don't have a degree of it either, but because I manage to do a thing, such as go to an increasingly racist* support place (1in4, weston super mare), therefore all the inner struggle involved in achieving that counts for nothing. That isn't helpful at all.

So today's appointment isn't happening. In fact neither is next week's - they tell me this quite matter of factly. It's as if the support isn't needed, and this is just a minor inconvenience. Oh there's nothing in the diary for next week so no appointment. It's all very clerical and not at all helpful. At least I don't have to fuss about with those stupid questionnaires for another two weeks.

To be completely honest, where is the support? I mean, the guy I talk to seems like a nice guy; I have no personal beef with him, but he hasn't actually offered any mechanism or scheme of a supportive nature at all. Other than talk to the people I've already talked to (the ASD team, for instance) he's done nothing, and talking to those people has largely been a waste of time: what is the point of talking to the liars at the Asperger service if you aren't going to accept me telling you they lied? That's what I mean by gaslighting; he cannot accept my side of the story, and why not? Professional pride? How does that help me?

Quite honestly the whole thing is pointless. He doesn't even work for Positive Step, the people who have imposed themselves into the support structure available to patients. They have subcontracted out to a different social enterprise (they all have Step in the name and seem to be primarily a housing association or something). Why? Does PS not have enough skilled staff to actually do the job? Isn't it fundamentally dishonest to compel doctors to refer patients to them and then not actually provide patients with care or support? This is the new normal. An example as to why this is an issue is that, if I could be seen by 'proper' support services (ie the NHS), then I could get them to sign off on a bus pass that would make it a lot easier to get around - which is something my 'wellness advisor' agrees with. Last he said he was going to ask my GP about referring me to such people, something I've already done myself weeks ago but nothing seems to have come of it.

These services, ostensibly intended to support people, are in the way of doing just that.


*Disappointingly last week the few people there started talking about 'foreigners' in the usual Daily Mail way. I get that people have issues with immigration, but to fall for the divide and rule rhetoric of the right wing media is to blame the symptom not the cause. They are not our enemy, we should be allying with them to smash the capitalists who's policies set us against each other in competition for what we are told, but aren't, scant resources. 

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