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I Want to Break Free!

Though not in drag with a hoover and a 'tache.

My gods do I need a break. This time of year - specifically the pre Christmas madness - really bends my brain. Everything seems to mount up - real or imagined - and I find it increasingly difficult. Once you get to Christmas it's not too bad; I don't enjoy it (I'm on my own, so I don't have a family to share it or kids to spoil, and I don't believe in the miracle of Jesus, sorry), I think it's still to commercial and over the top. Plus I hate with the strength of hellfire those seasonal adverts. But the early nights, the cold (I live in a cold house and I just cannot get on with the cold), the jobcentre...
Having to sign on is bad enough, but I really need a break. I'm not sleeping properly at all. My head is all over the place, and having to concentrate to find work especially at the worst time of year to do so is a nightmare I could do without, frankly.
I should caveat this by saying there are plenty of people far worse off than I (who should also be helped - this isn't a competition).
Having said that, I have been given the 23rd as the date to sign on (after this Friday) and I'm hoping, though I fear for naught, that I won't have to go in then. Hopefully at least the money should go through earlier, but I could reaaaaaaaaaaaally do with taking a break from this, at least for now. I also have to attend on the 19th to see the 'work psychologist'. I have no idea what one of those is or does, but I'm sure it will be a thinly veiled attempt to inculcate in me the value of the ethic of hard work. The sort of ethic that rewards people with unpaid slave positions for big businesses like Poundland and Tesco.
I'm going to attempt to see if I can be excused on the 23rd, if they don't feel seasonally charitable, by taking a holiday. Jobseekers are allowed a fortnight, each 12 month period, to take a holiday. Unfortunately I think the form requests that you leave a contact number. I have no desire, and not the energy, to lie to them and I suspect that they wont' allow me to take a holiday at home. One can only try.


  1. I commented the other day on your rookie mistake post, noticed you had a few interesting comments on the cif machine and thought I'd say hi.

    Forgive me if this sounds a bit patronising, and just to qualify it a bit further I don't know your situation but if I can I'd like to ask you a sincere question.

    Do you think posting a lot of comments on CIF is all that helpful? I ask this because I did it myself, seeking out articles on JSA or whatever to vent my spleen at the state of things but if I'm honest (although it felt good to put my arguments forward and have them recommended and or argued with) in the end I think it did me more harm than good.

    Although I'm off JSA and not having to sign on and has improved my outlook somewhat, I'm still reminded on a daily basis that I don't have much money or status, the place I live in is okay and warm enough, but there's damp and a letting agent who's ok with emergencies but very little else, in a way I'm very lucky my flat is inclusive so I don't have the constant worry of utility bills, and I wouldn't have been able to survive if it were exclusive.

    It doesn't always work but I try to rise above this crap, and for me going on CIF all day never really helped.

    Please delete this comment if you need to, like I say I don't mean to patronise you, living on benefits is truly horrible especially at this time of year and I wish you the best for the holidays and hope that next year brings something more positive.

  2. Thanks for the comment. I enjoy posting on CiF. There are lots of good comments from interesting and smart people. That there are some tory trolls who inexplicably post their nonsense is just a sad fact of life. It doesn't bother me. The internet is full of such people. I don't post there for any deep reason other than it's a good discussion forum for people that reject the right wing paradigm.


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