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Dr Maybe

Just returned from an appointment with the GP where I sputtered out my recent issues as well as discussing, with noticeable exasperation, the overall situation. It's a real uphill struggle for reasons I've probably mentioned before. Again the idea that writing sick note (sorry, fit note) is counter productive and tantamount to consigning me to a life on benefits. Frankly I find that a rather bizarre issue to be upset about: we don't complain when people come into life changing money from other means - inheritance, lottery, born into it (like our illustrious leaders). Noone says that such people, without paid work, are dooming themselves to unfulfilled lives. But when it comes those on the dole, that's seen as the worst thing society can do, hence IDS's current ideological crusade. Of course it's pish; i have interests that I could happily pursue without the need for paid work. We can have a discussion about community responsibilities, but that's another thing. It's a beautiful morning today, especially in the fields away from all the idiots, what more does a human being need?

My GP seems to think that I need to find the right kind of work and that would be the goal. But of course he's oblivious to the reality of the labour market where there are just no jobs around at the moment for even the fully capable and willing. He's ignorant of the capitalist system that creates the scarcity of resources and opportunity (by holding them back for those in charge) that lead people to bemoan the likes of me 'holding out for that special job', you might say. He's oblivious to the JSA system that doesn't allow people the opportunity to 'pick and choose'.
I've explained to him how ESA works and how either you are found totally fit and able (and therefore it's JSA for you), or you are not in which case it's likely the support group (unless you are really lucky enough to have your condition accepted). There's no middle ground for people that have some problems and need to find...the right kind of work.

Now the interesting thing is that he agrees that's what should happen, but the thought of wriing a sick note is anathema. Doctors have been conditioned to think this way for reasons above. Yet that is the only way to get onto the support group, to receive what ESA should offer (and that's no guarantee that it will help because in the end you just go onto the Work Programme the same as anyone claiming JSA regardless of health issues, but I felt it best not to point that out). In the end he's asked me to get my Work Psychologist to call him so maybe there's hope.

Interestingly he thought that, regarding how the system works versus how he thinks it works, he argues that if it's not doing what it should then something needs to be done. But the sad truth is he, understandably perhaps, just doesn't grasp the reality. Unfortunately pointing that reality out just gets you seen as being negative and unwilling to engage (which in many ways is the greatest sin you can commit in the eyes of the system). People like him really do need to open their eyes I'm afraid; if they don't then the rest of us, especially those with the really serious problems, are going to continue struggling. The more people can be made to see the reality of this system and it's iniquitous masters the better. I think, I think, maybe - just maybe - he's starting to get it.

Like Neo in the Matrix, he's beginning the believe. However he did comment that maybe I'm in the wrong surgery - that I should be talking to my local MP. Unfortunately that just points to the naivete of these doctors in their understanding of welfare and the surrounding politics/ideology; not only is my MP a bloody Tory, but he alone isn't going to be able to prescribe a solution. What can he do? Change the system there and then? Slowly turn the wheels and I fear they are grinding me down. I can only hope that The Psychologist can (and will) speak to him and agree that at least trying the ESA route (again) is the way forward. She did say that perhaps I should get another note, though I did point out that the doctor wasn't willing. Will she be willing to convince him? I have a suspicion that really she isn't there to help - at least not to 'get her hands dirty' so to speak. Hers is, I suspect, a superficial role. I will have to put that to the test.

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I Fucking Hate the Work Programme

That did not go well.
My legs were wobbly to begin with as I closed in on the church that passes for the office of the employment wing of the Salvation Army. My appointment was 3 to half past. I really did feel sick. Pretty early on, when he asked for the forms he gave me last time to fill in, I knew that what was arranged on the letter (a short interview with me bringing my CV and jobsearch) was actually going to be much longer. I also knew that, come half three when I had to leave to catch my bus back ten minutes later, I was going to have problems. 
Unfortunately, though more for me I fear, it never got that far; at 20 past he terminated the interview citing my apparent 'putting up barriers' as the reason not to continue. This was because I refused consent for him to keep my CV. I asked why he needed it and offered, three times, to show it to him (that's all), he said it was to apply for jobs on my behalf. The EEC's need this information.
What's an EEC? Employm…

Anybody Out There?

Just so I can be sure this is being read at all and decide whether it's worth continuing, please shout out in the comments. Even if you think I'm talking barmy bollocks, it'd be helpful to know if there are people reading this and not weird bots from phishing sites or Russian hackers or some weird sentient algorithm.

Apologies if you are none of those things, but I'm considering what to do with this blog.

Thanks

ADD

Thursday today (unless time has confused me again!), the day between yesterday's appointment with The Psychologist, and signing on tomorrow. A brief oasis for me to discuss said appointment as it was a test for 'neurodiverse tendencies'. I think that's the best way of putting it; it's all a bit vague really. When I first saw The Psychologist I mentioned that I was in the process of trying to get a diagnosis for Aspergers to which she replied she could do a test that, while not an official diagnosis, could count towards one - or something. Something official anyway, though bizarrely after the test was completed (took a couple of hours) she said she wasn't trained for Aspergers specifically.

The test itself was a kind of Krypton Factor lite (sans exercise course): a mix of recall, pattern recognition, problem solving, and questionnaire. I was asked to arrange coloured blocks into a prescribed pattern, to spot what was missing from a series of pictures, to guess fr…