Eat In, Tories Out 2: Dilemma

Wednesdays used to be the night I visited with a couple of friends in a mutual domestic environment (IE a house). That is still against the rules as it comprises more than the 2 household limit. One friend invited a return to that normality. But i declined. Doing so has made me miserable. But I don't feel the time is right. However what is making me miserable is that I don't know when the time will be right. The virus is going to be in our society, somewhere lurking, for the foreseeable. I have to adapt, but that doesn't change the fact doing so is difficult and potentially hazardous.

It would be easy to throw caution to the poison winds, even against the rules. I don't want to be slavish about it, but rules are not intrinsically bad. In this case they are justified, coming from the scientific community. Not just the dreams of a ruling class oaf who wants us to doff our caps to our betters. However I live with a relative in the vulnerable category (though I suspect she won't mind). Our host has a wife that works in the care sector who also has health issues of her own. Again I assume she doesn't mind either otherwise the offer wouldn't have been made.

Everything now is suspect. Turning up in familiar surroundings has changed. The offer of a cup of tea is tense. I don't know when this ends and I am no more comfortable making that change now than I am sheltering indefinitely. There is no correct answer to this question, but for now I remain where I am. I just don't think the time is right. But I'm cautious that this, the late summer where things could turn, is as good as it gets. Who knows what will happen when the schools open or, heaven forbid, stadiums and arenas begin to fill. One thing though: I don't see pubs closing again.

This is a prison of my own making. No one can make this decision for me. I had thought about going into town. But that seems pointless. It isn't just my aforementioned trepidation, it's the nature of the shopping environment. No longer is it possible to just browse around town, mooching around, idling in the library, drinking in the ambience of the city centre. Consequently it's easier to order online, often it can be cheaper when you factor in bus costs. For that reason it's just not worth it. Even if I did, my journey would be perfunctory: get in, get out. More like a survival run in zombie apocalypse or a military exercise. Neither are appealing. 

This is the world that is. The anti lockdown contingent argue this is why we shouldn't lockdown and shouldn't have done so. But that is not the correct analysis. It is entirely possible for lockdown to be both debilitating and necessary - a bit like a vaccine. I agree, for example, schools must be open - especially to contain a growing tension in the youth enduring this crisis - but that fact doesn't make them safe.

This is the dilemma.