To the good people who read this (and you must be good if you're reading this of course :D) - and to the creepy Russian bots that seem to comprise a portion of my analytics - please stay safe.
I've seen my mental health take a drop what with everything in the world. We humans weren't built for this, a pervasive stress. It's not good for the soul. It erodses; wears you down. I catch myself losing patience, getting frustrated, shouting at clouds (not literally but the weather is exasperating). You see yourself in the moment - and even having that awareness is a luxury, some don't - and you start thinking "my god!"
This isn't good. The world is on fire. These weather patterns aren't the norm. It leaves you out of sorts. If winter was properly winter, snow, chilly, cosy (even), I could cope with it. We're programmed for that; to respond to the ebb and flow of time and tide. Things like seasons. But not only are we completely out of balance with that in the modern world, but we've twisted the world itself. Now the seasons are out of sorts. Winter seems to start and end later. This isn't right. A month and a half of storms; freezing gales and thundering icicle rain isn't normal. It's not good for the land, it can't be good for nature. Now to add to that a man made (after a fashion, man's carelessness) has led to an outbreak that's now a pandemic. My first ever! I feel so...blessed?
They say that healthy folk (like me I hope) are no more going to suffer than regular flu and we don't worry about that quite so severely, and for good reason. But 17000 died of seasonal flu last year! I don't want either! But it's there: the fear. You can't avoid it. The media is everywhere now. It's right next to this screen, on another tab, waiting to be unleashed when I next press the button. I hide it like an index. A contents page of man made misery. Our government seems indecisive incompetent or just plain uncaring. Will we all end up sick?
Getting food is my biggest worry. How are the poor to manage? supermarket deliveries are, IME, notoriously unreliable and you have to pay a hefty delivery charge. "Sorry we didn't have any chicken soup, we gave you dogfood instead". What if you live alone? Who will care for you? The epitaph of modern life.
Those are my concerns; strictly born of the modern world. A place I am finding myself increasingly at odds with. I can't handle it. It asks too much of me in ways that bend and break. I am twisted through torsions of complexity that seem to exist for their own sake.
It doesn't have to be this way. We have made it thus. Our very system is being tested. What happens if it fails? When there is no more money to prop it up? In the wake of a pandemic, politicians care more that stock markets fail. Billionaires and millionaires throw their perfumed sanitised hands in the air, from within their privilege bunkers. They are probably gambling and preying on the outcomes of this situation. Delaying the creation of vaccines so that they can get there first. Human life is an investment portfolio, now stained with the sputum of its own sickness.
Turn back spaceman, the earth is not fit for human consumption!
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