Tier 3, again, arrives with the threat of another storm. More wet and miserable weather. I feel it keenly. Winter is just so oppressive. In some ways that overrules the Corona Crisis, but in other ways it brings it home more severely. Unlike summer i'm not out flitting around like a butterfly. I don't do much over Christmas and I don't have a large family that would congregate anyway so it doesn't matter. On the other hand without normality the days aren't really any different and so Christmas doesn't feel like a break. Normally I can feel legitimately lazy for a couple of days. Then I might go into town and, well, do whatever. What i'd normally do, spend money, buy pointless crap. Some CD's whatever.
I can do that now; non essential retail is still permitted, but the virus is present and so are the changes caused to society in its wake. Those changes will be with us for a long time, certainly for the next few months. It's all a question of the calm between Corona related government fuck-ups, of which there will be more. I wouldn't bet against the house on that one.
Yet I have things I can do, but they become a tyranny when there is no break from them, and that's the oppressive nature of winter. Everything is one tone; one colour. Right now, grey. In some ways it's good the days are short because you don't get too long starting at grey rain clouds. Better it becomes dark, I think. There's always tomorrow, which, by the forecast, will also be grey. Oh well.
I would like to plan ahead. I have some money. I've had it for a while, rainy day money I could happily spend on any type of day. There are things I could buy to invest in moving forward - at least that's the hope. The future is always a gamble, that's the nature of a capitalist society without the privilege of wealth. ESA money that I haven't yet spent mainly out of fear: what if I need to replace something, or make an emergency payment. More specifically, what happens if - when - my entitlement ends.
Should that happen my money would stop instantly. There is no 'notice' or grace period. The decision is made and you learn about it when they decide to tell you, learning after the fact. It's ridiculous. The whole system is completely counter productive as a result. It prohibits you from planning ahead, making decisions that could improve your chances of moving forward. What should be a means to that end, or at least could be, if you're lucky, just becomes a chain that binds you. It would be better for that money to circulate in the economy. Instead it has to live in the proverbial shoebox under the bed in case of future events. We don't live in an economically secure society, our masters don't want that. So the whole thing is self defeating - and I'm lucky, I don't need to spend what I receive as much as others. Fpor many they won't have this luxury, they have to spend to live. I've been able to keep most of my benefit as savings, but am afraid of using them in the most positive way, for me, possible. Isn't that ridiculous.
Of course this is just massively self indulgent. Like I said: I'm lucky. It's a miserable cold wet Boxing Day (sort of, it's that weird double Boxing Day bank holiday weekend thing). But I have to wonder about moving forward. This is the time of year for that, but the straitjacket of the benefit system is its own enemy. It just seems to exist to keep people down. It doesn't help them because it's boith too stingy and too restricting: its gatekeepers too full of their limited ideology that keeps people from moving forward despite that nominally being their function.
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